Its funny how the walk of life
Can take you down without a fight
So many years can lay behind
Regretfully until its time
To realise the moment
When you turn around

I'm coming home to breathe again
To start again
I'm coming home from all the places I have been
With nothing but a voice within
That calls me, calls me home

Back in the day when I was younger
I was lost and proud
I've gained the world but it will never
Compare to what I've earned
In a quite moment
When the earth holds still

I'm coming home to breathe again
To start again
I'm coming home from all the places I have been
With nothing but a voice within
That calls me, calls me home
Calls me home

I'm coming home, to breathe again
To start again
I'm coming home from all the places I have been
With nothing but a voice within
That calls me 

I was listening to this song yesterday and was struck again by how much it speaks to me at this point in my life. This year of transition has shrunk down to less than six months before this dual chapter in my life closes and another one begins. I am so excited to start fresh and to do things that are going to lead me to the life I want and the path I want to walk on.

As much as I have enjoyed my time in Seoul I have that urgent feeling stirring in me again. That my time is running out here. That I am ready to move past this place. That a transformation is looming before me. It makes me smile, this feeling inside of me. Two years ago all I wanted to do was leave home, but now all I want to do is return. Not to a specific place or person but just to return to my roots and grow something new, something me.

I am looking forward to life after Seoul. To the chapters that await me once this one is finished. To the new places I will go, the new friends I will meet, and to who I will transform into this time around. That doesn't mean I'll forget about this chapter, all the pages I have written here. How can I? They have given me so much room to grow and have nourished my once aching soul. I am so thankful for my time here, and plan to enjoy ever last bit of it before I say, "see you later!" There will be no goodbye because even though I will be going home I will still take this place and the memories of life here with me.

There is a voice inside of me that is preparing me for the transformation, for the change, for the future. She is steady, patient, and wise. I am trusting her to lead me in the rest of my time here, and to guide my footsteps in whatever comes next.

Be blessed,
~Lola O.~

Long time no write!

I don't know what it is about this year but I don't have the urge to write about what happens in my life this time around. I've been writing in my journal but not on here. I just feel like there isn't anything to say that I haven't said, and more than that if I don't have anything good to say I shouldn't bother writing it down. I don't know what my deal is but this year is so different and yet the same. It's not like I haven't been doing stuff because I have. I just don't feel the need to write about it like I did last year. Maybe this is second year syndrome!?

It's been almost two months since my last entry. How has my life been? My weeks have become pretty routine. During the week I usually just go home after school, make dinner, watch tv, and do some personal writing and reading. I'm too tired to go anywhere else. Weekends are outings with friends, and then church on Sunday. God, even writing that sounds boring. I mean I am in Korea for this last year and my life has become so routine. Hahaha...I don't know what to say.

Hello lovely readers. Sorry for being so M.I.A with this blog. As the title says I've been trying to figure stuff out about my life and things of that sort. I guess I've just been getting lost and found in the maze of thoughts take make up my mind. I'm still figuring things out but I wanted to update you all.

I'm pretty much over the homesickness that plagued me the first few months and now I've starting worrying about the future. I know what I want to do once I leave Seoul but the how isn't as clear. There are so many roads I can go on and all those choices make it hard to just choose one path to travel down. I'm not sure if I want to go back to AZ. That is probably the biggest future question I'm dealing with. I don't want to go back in any part of my life I just want to go forward.

This year has been a bit more emotional for me in my life and in school. Lots of change this year. As far as school goes I love my 5th graders and am having a hard time liking my 6th graders. They are just so freaking rude this year and it really irks me. My co said she is numbing herself to all their shenanigans but I can't do that. It bugs me that I care so much about it, but as long as I am their teacher I'm going to do my best to teach them manners and respect in my classroom and outside of it. I'm really disappointed in them but I know they are at that age of testing boundaries and finding themselves. Even so I do not tolerate disrespect or rudeness in my class no matter where it is coming from. I keep telling them they are missing out on having more fun in class because they keep wasting time talking. *Sigh*

Some things I've done so far this year. I went to my first Korean wedding. They really are a bit cold and overly structured. After we left the wedding we went to Hangang Park, Jacoby's Burger, and Itaewon. Lots of laughter and much needed conversations. I went to the zoo at Seoul Grand Park. Zoos always make me happy and sad. I wish all the animals were free. I went on a road trip with some friends to Damyang to see the bamboo forest and Boseong to see the green tea fields. We ended up hanging out with Brian from Kiss My Kimchi. He's a friend of a friend. Hmm...what else? I've been doing a lot of writing and drawing lately. I'm trying to learn the guitar left handed on my own. So we shall see how that turns out. Besides those things it's just the same old same old. Me figuring stuff out:)

My brother and sister will be coming in about 2 months and I am really looking forward to having them here. We've never had a family vacation and this will be the closest thing. I want them to have an amazing time here so if you are in Korea/Seoul and have any suggestions of places to go or things to see feel free to let me know:)! Some friends and I are planning to go to Cebu City and surrounding Islands for Chuseok so if you've been there send me some suggestions too.

I've been out of the Seoul loop of blogs too. I need to get back into my love of all things Korean and get back on my feet. I hope life has been treating all of you well and if you are also figuring stuff out I hope you find your answers soon!

Be blessed and not stressed,
~Lola O.~