tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50577355797511291342024-02-20T23:16:20.523+09:00✿ ♫ ♥ Lola O. In Seoul ♥ ♫ ✿안녕하세요
<p>
The next chapter(s) of my life start here...let's see how my story unfolds...</p>
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined." <p>
-Henry David Thoreau-</p>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.comBlogger181125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-19586516099663197712014-02-16T00:06:00.004+09:002014-02-16T00:06:55.248+09:00Check out my new blogs...<br />
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<b><a href="http://bealightinthedark.com/">bealightinthedark.com</a></b><br />
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<b><a href="http://aprayerfortday.com/">aprayerfortday.com</a></b><br />
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I hope you will be blessed by their content!Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-14326279816475216332011-09-08T16:26:00.001+09:002011-09-08T16:28:38.795+09:00Calls Me Home<blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana, arial; font-size: x-small;"><i>Its funny how the walk of life<br />
Can take you down without a fight<br />
So many years can lay behind<br />
Regretfully until its time<br />
To realise the moment<br />
When you turn around<br />
<br />
I'm coming home to breathe again<br />
To start again<br />
I'm coming home from all the places I have been<br />
With nothing but a voice within<br />
That calls me, calls me home<br />
<br />
Back in the day when I was younger<br />
I was lost and proud<br />
I've gained the world but it will never<br />
Compare to what I've earned<br />
In a quite moment<br />
When the earth holds still<br />
<br />
I'm coming home to breathe again<br />
To start again<br />
I'm coming home from all the places I have been<br />
With nothing but a voice within<br />
That calls me, calls me home<br />
Calls me home<br />
<br />
I'm coming home, to breathe again<br />
To start again<br />
I'm coming home from all the places I have been<br />
With nothing but a voice within<br />
That calls me</i> </span></blockquote>I was listening to this song yesterday and was struck again by how much it speaks to me at this point in my life. This year of transition has shrunk down to less than six months before this dual chapter in my life closes and another one begins. I am so excited to start fresh and to do things that are going to lead me to the life I want and the path I want to walk on.<br />
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As much as I have enjoyed my time in Seoul I have that urgent feeling stirring in me again. That my time is running out here. That I am ready to move past this place. That a transformation is looming before me. It makes me smile, this feeling inside of me. Two years ago all I wanted to do was leave home, but now all I want to do is return. Not to a specific place or person but just to return to my roots and grow something new, something me.<br />
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I am looking forward to life after Seoul. To the chapters that await me once this one is finished. To the new places I will go, the new friends I will meet, and to who I will transform into this time around. That doesn't mean I'll forget about this chapter, all the pages I have written here. How can I? They have given me so much room to grow and have nourished my once aching soul. I am so thankful for my time here, and plan to enjoy ever last bit of it before I say, "see you later!" There will be no goodbye because even though I will be going home I will still take this place and the memories of life here with me.<br />
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There is a voice inside of me that is preparing me for the transformation, for the change, for the future. She is steady, patient, and wise. I am trusting her to lead me in the rest of my time here, and to guide my footsteps in whatever comes next.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-16587468658502605342011-07-08T09:50:00.002+09:002011-07-08T09:57:16.273+09:00Out Of The StormLong time no write!<br />
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I don't know what it is about this year but I don't have the urge to write about what happens in my life this time around. I've been writing in my journal but not on here. I just feel like there isn't anything to say that I haven't said, and more than that if I don't have anything good to say I shouldn't bother writing it down. I don't know what my deal is but this year is so different and yet the same. It's not like I haven't been doing stuff because I have. I just don't feel the need to write about it like I did last year. Maybe this is second year syndrome!?<br />
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It's been almost two months since my last entry. How has my life been? My weeks have become pretty routine. During the week I usually just go home after school, make dinner, watch tv, and do some personal writing and reading. I'm too tired to go anywhere else. Weekends are outings with friends, and then church on Sunday. God, even writing that sounds boring. I mean I am in Korea for this last year and my life has become so routine. Hahaha...I don't know what to say.<br />
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Other than that I got two wisdom teeth pulled. I've spent a lot of time crying at the dentist in Korea because I do not get numb like other people, and no matter how many shots they give me I still feel the pain. I seem to have very difficult teeth because something that should take 30 minutes took over one hour for me. My wisdom teeth were horizontal and lucky me I have five wisdom teeth instead of four. Now because of the stupid horizontal wisdom tooth on my left side I have to do a endo (root canal) treatment and spend all this money and feel all this pain.<br />
<br />
Last week when I went to the dentist she had to pull the roots out. She gave me plenty of shots to numb me up but it didn't work AT ALL and by the time she was done I was shaking and crying in the chair. Seriously, so embarrassing but that pain was so unbearable and miserable. I have two more appointments for this endo treatment and I just pray to God no more pain. I am so tired of being in pain.<br />
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I've been getting involved at church and I really like my church. I've been volunteering at an orphanage with some of the members, and meeting interesting Koreans and foreigners on Sundays. I really love the pastor there and I look forward to hearing his sermons every Sunday. What else?<br />
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My brother and sister are coming on the 29th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so freaking excited to have them here and show them Seoul and different parts of Korea. If you have any suggestions of interesting things to see and do please send them to me in a comment or email. I'm making a flexible itinerary for the trip here. We are going to Busan from the 31st-2nd, cause Jeju is all booked and too expensive. This will be my first time going to Busan so if you have suggestions for a place to stay or things to do send me those too!!! Thanks in advance.<br />
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School ends on the 18th. Thank God. This semester has not been great and I am glad it is coming to an end. I'm upset with my school about summer camp among other things I will not get into right now. So my original co-teacher is doing some class and her sister has been subbing in but she won't be helping with camp. My other co-teacher has decided to take on an admin position for camp, and they hired some old lady who has no teaching experience and I don't even know if she speaks English to be my co-teacher. She told me this nonsense yesterday and I am really trying to keep my anger in check.<br />
<br />
Seriously, what's the point of even hiring her? I'm going to have to do everything by myself either way. She is just going to sit there and get paid for nothing! They might as well give me the extra money or find a better co-teacher. I'm going to have to plan all the lessons and prepare everything, and now teach by myself. My other co had the nerve to be like if its too hard for you let me know after telling me about this old lady with no experience being my co-teacher. What does she think it it's going to be like for me?<br />
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"Breathe." That is what I keep telling myself. Just breathe and get through this and then start the next chapter of my life outside of Seoul. I definitely know I can't stay another year. I don't know what it is about this second year but things get to me a lot more. Things like staring, people at school mistreating me and expecting me to just go with it, and stuff with co-teachers. I think it is because this year I am on my own and I have to represent me. My old co-teacher hasn't been around to fight for me. I wonder what it will be like when she comes back.<br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to having my brother and sister here in a few weeks, and seeing Seoul and Korea through their eyes will be good for my spirit. I think I need to be reminded of all that I love(d) about my life here, and they will be my reminder. I'm looking forward to having some time to get things into perspective and recharge my batteries. I'm looking forward to preparing for the new chapters that await me after this one ends. I'm looking forward to all the future somethings I have yet to see, taste, experience...etc. I'm looking forward to seeing the world through new eyes (literally). I'm going to get Lasek/Lasik done at the end of August if my consultations go well. I'm looking forward to not wearing glasses. I'm looking forward to putting myself back together again and getting my spirit up.<br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to what the rest of my time here will bring.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
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P.S. I will try to update my frequently. I have a gazillion photos to post, so hopefully I can do a few photo diaries in the future.<br />
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<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"> I woke up this morning</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">With a burning in my soul</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Morning air it hit me</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Like its never done before</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">I woke up this morning</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">With a turning in my bones</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">All the things that I cant change </span></b></i><br />
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"> I never let go of</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">You got me where you want me</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">You’ve had me all along</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">I’m learning the hard way now</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">There’s no easy way out of the storm</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Out of the storm</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">All I’ve been chasing God only knows</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Just where I’ve been Now I realize</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">That I’m a broken man million little pieces</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">You held right in your hand</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Suddenly I’m falling in</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Suddenly I’m forgiven</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Suddenly I’m falling in</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px;">Suddenly I’m forgiven</span></b></i>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-22455391410108281682011-05-16T18:18:00.000+09:002011-05-16T18:18:48.357+09:00Figuring Stuff OutHello lovely readers. Sorry for being so M.I.A with this blog. As the title says I've been trying to figure stuff out about my life and things of that sort. I guess I've just been getting lost and found in the maze of thoughts take make up my mind. I'm still figuring things out but I wanted to update you all.<br />
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I'm pretty much over the homesickness that plagued me the first few months and now I've starting worrying about the future. I know what I want to do once I leave Seoul but the how isn't as clear. There are so many roads I can go on and all those choices make it hard to just choose one path to travel down. I'm not sure if I want to go back to AZ. That is probably the biggest future question I'm dealing with. I don't want to go back in any part of my life I just want to go forward.<br />
<br />
This year has been a bit more emotional for me in my life and in school. Lots of change this year. As far as school goes I love my 5th graders and am having a hard time liking my 6th graders. They are just so freaking rude this year and it really irks me. My co said she is numbing herself to all their shenanigans but I can't do that. It bugs me that I care so much about it, but as long as I am their teacher I'm going to do my best to teach them manners and respect in my classroom and outside of it. I'm really disappointed in them but I know they are at that age of testing boundaries and finding themselves. Even so I do not tolerate disrespect or rudeness in my class no matter where it is coming from. I keep telling them they are missing out on having more fun in class because they keep wasting time talking. *Sigh*<br />
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Some things I've done so far this year. I went to my first Korean wedding. They really are a bit cold and overly structured. After we left the wedding we went to Hangang Park, Jacoby's Burger, and Itaewon. Lots of laughter and much needed conversations. I went to the zoo at Seoul Grand Park. Zoos always make me happy and sad. I wish all the animals were free. I went on a road trip with some friends to Damyang to see the bamboo forest and Boseong to see the green tea fields. We ended up hanging out with Brian from Kiss My Kimchi. He's a friend of a friend. Hmm...what else? I've been doing a lot of writing and drawing lately. I'm trying to learn the guitar left handed on my own. So we shall see how that turns out. Besides those things it's just the same old same old. Me figuring stuff out:)<br />
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My brother and sister will be coming in about 2 months and I am really looking forward to having them here. We've never had a family vacation and this will be the closest thing. I want them to have an amazing time here so if you are in Korea/Seoul and have any suggestions of places to go or things to see feel free to let me know:)! Some friends and I are planning to go to Cebu City and surrounding Islands for Chuseok so if you've been there send me some suggestions too.<br />
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I've been out of the Seoul loop of blogs too. I need to get back into my love of all things Korean and get back on my feet. I hope life has been treating all of you well and if you are also figuring stuff out I hope you find your answers soon!<br />
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Be blessed and not stressed,<br />
~Lola O.~Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-3639610058227034642011-05-03T20:32:00.000+09:002011-05-03T20:32:48.049+09:00Note To Self...<ul><li>Everything is going to work out. Your dreams and hopes will find their place in this world.</li>
<li>Smile freely. Your smile lights up your face.Your smile is one easy way to make someone's day.</li>
<li>It will get better. Give yourself and life time.</li>
<li>Your fears are only as powerful as you allow them to be. Don't allow them to paralyze you from living your life.</li>
<li>I know you get lonely but that doesn't mean you are alone. There are so many people who love and need you. Loneliness comes and goes. It won't stay forever.</li>
<li>It's okay not to be okay all the time.</li>
<li>Don't be afraid of the work ahead of you. That's how you learn, how you grow, and most importantly how you get to where you want to be.</li>
<li>Getting lost is how you get found. </li>
<li>Don't be afraid to take detours.</li>
<li>Vulnerability is not weakness.<img _mce_src="http://assets.tumblr.com/javascript/tiny_mce_3_3_3/plugins/pagebreak/img/trans.gif" class="mcePageBreak mceItemNoResize" src="http://assets.tumblr.com/javascript/tiny_mce_3_3_3/plugins/pagebreak/img/trans.gif" /></li>
<li>Your life doesn't revolve around a man. Your story is one about love of self before any other kind of love. Please don't forget that.</li>
<li>Your scars might not be physical but they are still there. They are a part of you. Reminders of internal battles you have won. Don't ignore them or feel ashamed of them. They are a part of your story but they don't define you.</li>
<li>You are beautiful. Really, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. I know some days you don't feel beautiful but even then YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Let yourself embrace your beauty. Don't dampen it with negative thoughts or cruel words.</li>
<li>If you don't believe in yourself, and I mean wholeheartedly believe in yourself no one else will. You've got to have that faith and confidence in who you are, what you want, and how you choose to live. You have to believe in yourself. Your dreams, your talents, and your hopes for this life you have.</li>
<li>Don't just give good advice take it too. Teach and learn. Learn and teach.</li>
<li>Do the things you love because you love them. Nothing else matters. Not compliments, recognition, acknowledgement, fame, or fortune. All that matters is how the things you love make you feel. Don't shape what you love to fit into other people's idea of what it should be. You are the painter, the canvas, the muse, the paintbrush, and the paint. You have all the ingredients to create something of your own.</li>
<li>There are no bad days. Only bad moments.</li>
<li>Choose your attitude wisely.</li>
<li>Don't limit your happiness. There is no definition of what it means to be happy. You decide what your happiness looks, feels, and sounds like. It's up to you. It always has been.</li>
<li>You are imperfect and that is a beautiful thing. Stop trying to deny that.</li>
<li>Everything is not about you. Everything is not about them. Find a middle ground between those two extremes. </li>
<li>Life is a give and take relationship. I hope you give more than you take.</li>
<li>Everyone has to start at the beginning you are no exception.</li>
<li>You are not broken. You are not shattered. You are not a lost cause.</li>
<li>Your art matters. Whether it's your poetry, stories, songs, or drawings they matter. You matter. No one has to tell you that for it to be the truth. Have faith in yourself and the things you do.</li>
<li>You are loved. </li>
<li>Don't bottle your feelings inside.</li>
<li>You are more than good enough. </li>
<li>Don't hide your sorrows.</li>
<li>Your life is meant to be lived.</li>
<li>Don't be anyone other than you.</li>
<li>Take care of yourself. Mind, body, and soul.</li>
<li>Make time for yourself to do some self pampering.</li>
<li>Be the best version of you. The best you <em>you</em> can be.</li>
<li>Mistakes and failure are not things to be ashamed of. They are the catalysts of growth and wisdom.</li>
<li>You are the main character in your story, stop sitting on the sidelines.</li>
<li>Laugh without restraint.</li>
<li>Dream without worry.</li>
<li>Love yourself the way you want to be loved by others.</li>
<li>Breathe. In and out. Breathe.</li>
<li>This is your time. Be who you want to be. </li>
</ul>~~Acoustic Imagery~~<br />
<a href="http://bealightinthedark.com/">The Lighthouse</a><br />
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This is for those in need of a boost in their soul...Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-29618949271844809422011-04-27T14:07:00.000+09:002011-04-27T14:07:10.622+09:00<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/BmPMZlsDlVY" title="YouTube video player" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
I will post something of substance soon until then enjoy some Jay Park. I don't know why I like him. Maybe it's the underdog and humble vide he gives. Or maybe it's cause he reminds me of Taeyang. Either way I dig his style.Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-24036668955039576172011-04-17T18:24:00.000+09:002011-04-17T18:24:20.532+09:00Beauty On Earth...<iframe frameborder="0" height="225" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/22439234" width="400"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/22439234">The Mountain</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/terjes">Terje Sorgjerd</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-60797439713421594612011-04-11T18:57:00.000+09:002011-04-11T18:57:52.524+09:00Crazy Lady!!!I had the day off of school today which worked out well because I am having a bad allergy attack and feel miserable. My only adventure was meeting a friend of a friend who is going to teach me acoustic guitar. So as I was walking down the subway stairs at Guro Digital Complex I heard this woman screaming up at someone. I see her standing there below and I try to stay clear of her path as I walk down the stairs. Well this crazy lady grabs me and won't let go of me while holding a cross in front of my face and screaming only God knows what at me. Everyone as usual just stared at the situation. I kept telling her to let go of me and tried pulling away but she wouldn't let go of me and kept shoving a cross in my face and screaming. I was able to break free of her and she follows me still screaming behind me. OMG seriously! What kind of nonsense is this? I could hear her still screaming as I head towards the bus stop.<br />
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I've never experienced something like this before and I hope this is the only time someone shove a cross in my face and screams at me for no apparent reason other than I was a foreighner hence easy target for her craziness. I feel more pissed off that upset. I won't let her ruin a perfectly good day up till her. Stupid crazy adjumma!Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-72111004665326949842011-04-08T14:17:00.000+09:002011-04-08T14:17:47.628+09:00Imprints & InklingsHello everyone I hope you are having a better day than I am. I'm really upset right now and it's taking everything in me to not cry. Deep breaths...<br />
<br />
For some reason this week has been overwhelmingly emotionally taxing and it's like my feelings are so raw and exposed right now. I wish my face wasn't so readable because the last thing I want to do it talk about it with my co-workers. So I'm sitting at my desk, with my music soothing away today's stress, and writing it all down. That's my outlet. Always has been and always will be.<br />
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So what happened? My 6th graders. Parents get the terrible twos and teachers get the terrible pubescents also known as 6th graders for the sake of this entry. To say they are bad this year would be an understatment. They don't listen. They don't shut up. They don't have any respect. It's like it was all taken during winter vacation leaving them well what I have to deal with on a daily basis this year. It's the rudeness and lack of respect that is really eating away at my patience with and for them. Today was just the icing and a very yucky cake.<br />
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I have three 6th grade classes today, and of all of my four classes 6-2 is by far the rudest. They are the ones I started my day with. They made me so upset that I gave them a huge amount of homework and no game during class. What made me so upset? They could not or should I say would not be quiet no matter how many times I or my co-teacher told them to. I'm the kind of person that doesn't feel the need to keep repeating myself with my students. Being quiet is not an option or a suggestion. It's a fact. We can't get to games if they don't stop talking. I have to be stricter and meaner if I keep having to tell you to be quiet. It eats up time and I can't stand that. <br />
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The second class was a little better but not by much. I keep having to keep students after to clean as a punishment but that doesn't do anything. Even when we change their seats the chatting still continues. I never had this kind of problem last year. They are so rude. You tell them to do something or call them and they are like, "WHAT!!! WHY?!?! and roll their eyes. I had them as 5th graders so I know these kids, and they have really changed. In a very bad way. The kids come to class late every single day. I don't know if it's the homeroom teachers or other teachers that are responsible for this. <br />
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It's things like this that I need my co-teacher to get answers, but she doesn't seem to feel she has that kind of power since she is new. I don't think it's a big deal to ask the homeroom teachers to make sure the kids are coming on time and in their seats before the bell rings, and I don't think it's a big deal to talk to them about the behavior of their students in our class. It's moments like this that I wish I spoke Korean fluently to get my point across. Whether with my students or with the homeroom teachers I want to get things in order.<br />
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So what made me feel like crying? My third class. It all started with Listen & Speak. The second dialogue is Peter and Nami talking about what seasons they like. All the classes including this one laughed during the whole thing not because it was funny but because of Peter. This kind of thing happened last year but I let it roll of my shoulders but today it really got to me. The ignorant racism my kids display right in front of me. I could handle the lauging at first, but after I said time and time again to stop and just listen it continued. So I stopped and asked them what was so funny and they said to me, "Peter! Peter looks like a monkey!" All the while laughing their heads off. I stood there in silence until they stopped and I said to them, "Peter looks like a monkey? How can you compare a person to a monkey?" So one students said, "his skin is black like a chimpanzee!" Bringing more laughter to the students. I could feel this overwhelming ache inside of me for them. A feeling of hurt and at the same time pity that they see this world through such narrowed eyes. All they've known are people that look "just like them" but because Peter has "black skin" he is a monkey and worth laughing at.<br />
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So I said to them, "if Peter is a monkey are you saying I'm a monkey too? One kid had the nerve to keep laughing. I continued, "since I have `black` skin too doesn't that mean I must be a monkey too? How can you call another human being a monkey and insult them because of how they look? How can you say this in front of me who has the same skin color as Peter?" I said to them, "talking like that is not right. You can't say things like this about people or talk badly about them because they look differently than you!" I got myself under control and finished my part of the lesson. All I wanted to do was cry. I don't know why it took this to set me off but it really hurt and it still does.<br />
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I get that they are kids and ignorant about this kind of thing but they know right from wrong and should know how they behaved was all kinds of wrong. To Peter and even more so to me, their African-American teacher. After class finished I sat down at my desk, and my co came up to me and said, "Are you upset about what the kids said? You shouldn't be bothered they are just kids." All I could think was that is just an excuse. They should know better. They should know that what they said and how they acted was wrong and offensive. Their parents should teach them not to judge a person by how they look and that sometimes what you think should not be spoken. Their parents should teach them what racism means and how wrong it is. They should know that in this world there are plenty of people who don't look like them and that doesn't make them any less or any more. It makes them human just like them. They should...<br />
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I'm just really upset about it all. The rudeness. The insults. The racism. It just got to me today and I guess it has been building up. I am not my skin color. I am not the color of a crayon. I am Nigerian-American and proud of it but that doesn't define me. I am not a monkey. I am a human being and I should be treated like one. I get their ignorance but I don't get their wrongness. If that even makes sense. I'm tired of being stared at or having my skin and hair touched. I'm not some exotic thing on display for people to gawk at and make jokes about. Yes. I look different. Yes my hair isn't like yours. So what?! Get over it!<br />
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I'm not going to go on. Deep breaths. Thank goodness today is Friday. I have to suffer through a teacher's dinner and then I'm going to go home and spend time doing things I enjoy. Hopefully this emotional rawness will leave me soon. There is so much to enjoy and I don't want a negative attitude to spoil the beauty of all that is around me.<br />
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Today hasn't been the best of days but it hasn't been the worst of days.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-89627453626081760102011-04-01T09:42:00.003+09:002011-04-01T09:54:05.990+09:00Imprints & Inklings...Hello everyone:)! How has your week been?<br />
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So far so good for me. I am elated that it is Friday. I've been getting my days mixed up all week, and just realized that it was Friday. I don't have any exciting plans for the weekend but I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, making myself a yummy breakfast, and exploring a bit. Sunday will just be church, and relaxing at home. <br />
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It's been a bit since my last post but life hasn't had any radical changes. This year is turning out to be a quieter one so far, and I'm liking it. I've been doing this year in a lower key so far. Just hanging out with friends, working, writing, a lot of self reflection, and cooking. I'm trying to get more cooking and have been trying out new recipes. Last night I made dinner ( pasta w/ a homemade meat sauce and a salad). I was really hapy and pround of myself for not being lazy and eating something premade. There is joy in cooking yourself a meal. I put some music on, and let it be the soundtrack to my cooking adventure. It turned out pretty well. Tonight I'm going to try out a sweet mashed potato recipe I found with the leftovers of my curry shrimp rice. I might try some baking on Sunday if I can get the energy for it. These days I feel tired all the time. I think it's because my mind tends to always be cluttered and I can't figure out how to turn its switch off.<br />
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I feel like these days I'm a bit boring, but then I have to laugh because it's okay to be boring to others if I'm happy with myself, and I am. This year I'm going to try to see as much as I can in Korea but also in the world around me. To explore my immediate environment and find things to love about it. I want to carry my camera around and take photos of everyday things I find interesting. I want to go on walks around parts of Seoul I have not been to, and weekend trips to other parts of Korea. I have a trip coming up in May that I'm looking forward to. This month I'm on a tight budget because I used my bonus to make myself debt-free. I'm really happy about that. Now I can focus on saving money for my future somethings.<br />
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A few randoms... <br />
On Wednesday as I walked to the bus stop some of my students came up to me. These two adjummas were getting into a scuffle. It was really uncomfortable to see. I always feel embarrased by that because I just don't see things like that back home. All the men that were around just stood around as they screamed and hit each other. One adjumma was really beating the other one up. I didn't stay, and I told my students they better get their butts home too. Honestly, I just think there is no reason to be acting like that at any age. Settle differences with words and not fists. They were really going at it, and I can't believe none of the people around tried to help settle things. The men just watched like they were at some fight placing bets. I think that is what made me really mad. If I were to butt in no one would listen to me because I'm younger and a foreigner but they could have stepped in and brought it to a resolution. They didn't.<br />
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On Thursday as I walked to school this grandfather started walking next to me, and then we started talking. He has a daughter in San Jose and has been to America many times. His grandson is studying political science and wants to be a lawyer. It made me smile because he was just so excited and happy telling me about his family. I felt bad because a teacher stopped and gave me a ride the rest of the way so our conversation ended abruptly and he seemed a bit sad. I hope I run into him again. I used to feel bothered by the random attention on the way to and from school, but then I realized their is a certain beauty in those stand alone moments. They come and they go, and most of the time they leave me feelin brighter. I've always appreciated the wisdom and beauty of old people. Most people my age feel uncomfortable with them, but I always enjoy talking to them. I find them cute, wise, and I love their stories and words of advice. Maybe it's because I've always felt like an old soul...<br />
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Actually this week has been one of random ecounters. I was running late coming home and ran into another foreigner who lives 3 floors up and is from Brooklyn. I had seen her at the bus stop a few weeks back and never saw her after. Only to find that we live in the same building. I love when stuff like that happens. We'll be having dinner soon. She seems like a cool chick. Then on Wednesday after the adjumma smackdown I met a friend for dinner and we went to church. On the way in I saw this familiar looking girl. I only saw her side profile and she was with a familiar looking guy. I recognized them from ziplining and we ended up sitting next to each other. Small world again. It was such a coincidence because it was both of our first times coming on Wednesday and we attend Sunday service at different times. <br />
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I love when life conspires like that to give you an opportunity to meet new people and see where it leads. You never know until you give them a try. So we shall see what happens there. I am a firm believer that coincidence is just life giving you a chance to see what could be. This week has been one of coincidences and discovery. At least more than usual.<br />
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I'm still a bit homesick. It's slowly leaving my system. I'm falling in love with my life here all over again, and remembering to be thankful for this moment, and to live in the here and now. To stop worrying about a year from now and start reveling in a day from now. Life is in the present. My life is in these moments that make up my today. I want to be excited and hungry for all the todays I get. My life is in the choices and experiences I make now. I don't want to miss out on it because I'm so wrapped up in the future. I always remind myself that the future is created by my present. The future is always transforming and growing as I do. It's not decided or static. It's like a never ending canvas of possibility. I like it that way...<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
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<b><i>I won't dwell baby on my failures<br />
It won't help baby it won't bring changes<br />
I won't run baby when all I want is to run<br />
I won't forget the morning's sure to come</i></b>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-44667669778373626202011-03-14T16:18:00.003+09:002011-03-14T22:18:03.638+09:00Begin Again...Hello!!! I hope life is treating you well and that today has been an awesome day for you! Happy White Day!<br />
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For me, these days I find myself saying and thinking, "so far, so good..." about work, life, me, and just in general everything. That high I've been on for my life has settled into this pleasant hum inside of me that dances around as I go throughout my days. It makes me smile. It makes me happy. I hope it never leaves, and if it does I hope it comes back soon:)!<br />
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So what's new? I'm starting my second week of teaching for the new semester and it's been challenging but good. I've got two new co-teachers and they are both lovely ladies, but teaching is definitely different this time around. I like it for the most part. With my 5th graders I pretty much do most of the teaching aside from games, and with my 6th graders it is equally split. I like having more responsiblity (so far) because it keeps me busy and I don't feel like I'm wasting time sitting around. I like having that authority to decide what is going to be done in each lesson, and doing the planning for it. It makes me feel like a "real" teacher.<br />
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My students are pretty cute, especially my 5th graders. I only taught one fourth grade class last semester so this year I only know a few fifth graders, but they all seem to know me and have a lot of enthusiasm during class. Which I love. I love that they participate, laugh, and get excited in my class. It makes it a lot more fun for me and in the end for them. Now, my 6th graders who used to be my awesome 5th graders are completely different. What happened to their enthusiasm? In just a few short weeks puberty got to them and now they are sporting attitudes, and they don't want to participate or answer questions anymore!!! What happened? I wish I knew. I hope they start loosening up and reverting to their adorableness of last year.<br />
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So far, so good on the school front. I enjoy teaching. I really do. I love making English fun for them, and being silly and dorky if it means they laugh and find English interesting. My kids make or break my day. Today I thought to myself, "why not become a real teacher then?" I love teaching, but it's not what I want to do with the rest of my life. It's not where my passion, heart, or calling is. At least not in the logical sense. I want to teach kids, but not in a classroom. I want to teach them as a counselor at school, and as a mentor/role-model in my personal life. For me I want to lead by example which means to teach by example. To be a walking textbook that guides kids to find their way and direction. To be the tool that creates a bridge between their dreams and reality. Something like that. If I were to be a teacher I would be an English teacher back home in high school. Yes, I have thought about it:)! But, for me I want to be a guidance counselor, so a year from now the road I'm on will diverge with that one and I will go from there. I'm so excited to travel down that road. The road I never expected for my life, but the one that feels perfectly made for me.<br />
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Hmmm...besides work, and figuring out where I'm going I've just been spending time on <a href="http://bealightinthedark.com/">The Lighthouse</a>, with friends, and relaxing. I've been trying to exercise more, and eat healthier this second year. So I've been walking home from school, cooking more, and eating my veggies. I've got a huge sweet tooth so it's been hard but it feels good. I feel good. I love walking, and it's definitely been helping me unwind and go home with a clear mind. It also gives me a chance to see what's around me and breathe it all in. It's funny in a not funny way the things you notice once you take the time to. The way I breathe easier, the wind blowing against my skin, the cars chugging along, the various stores with people shopping; all glimpses of our world, and with slivers of beauty in them. As long as the weather isn't too cold I'm going to do as much walking as I can because it really does make a difference.<br />
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I think this year is going to be a quieter one. Last year I wanted to experiment and try new things. I still do, but in a more subtle way. I'm not in such a rush to do so much. I feel more like I need to appreciate each moment, each experience as it without trying to think about what comes next or how can I do more. I just want to breathe it all in as it is and then breathe it out as it is. Nothing less and nothing more.<br />
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I've been back for a little over a month and it still feels like I'm settling back in. I don't know what this year is going to be like, mainly because I cannot see the picture:) but I do know it's going to be whatever I make it or choose for it to be. I am the architect of my time here. So how do I design my time? Do I fill it with trips? People?Worrying? Saving? New experiences? Shopping? So far everything is still blank and suspended in thought. Soon enough though I'll start to create my foundation for this year and go from there.<br />
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So pretty much life is, "so far, so good."<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
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<strong><em>Don't waste your time waiting for someone to tell you when</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Begin again</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>'Cause walking outdoors only works if you show them</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Begin again</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>And quit looking backwards and know where you have been</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Begin again</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>You're no calendar</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>You're no concrete plan</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Begin again</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Don't waste your time</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>'Cause no one's gonna tell you when<br />
Wake up</em></strong>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-22624969218823271322011-02-26T20:15:00.000+09:002011-02-26T20:15:02.360+09:00Each New Year Brings Hope & Meaning<b><i><u>Chapter One: Growth</u></i></b><br />
One year ago I left the world I knew for something different, something new, something more. I got on a plane and came here to Seoul. I didn't know what to expect. I had no clue what the year would bring. I was scared yet excited for the growth I knew would come, the friends I would make, and the lessons I would learn. I came to this new place with an open heart and an open mind. This one year has truly been a very blessed year. I'm really thankful that after such a long journey I finally made it to Seoul on February 26, 2010. Making that one dream come true has led to even more dreams coming true.<br />
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I like to think of this chapter in my life as the year of growth. The year of finding myself, creating myself, loving who I am, and just transforming into who I want to be. Gosh, I did a lot and yet there is still much I wish to do. I am so humbled and grateful for the opportunities, the friendships, the laughter, the challenges, the...everything. When I first came here I was trying to figure out who I am, what I want my life to be, and really just exploring what I am capable of. I've learned what strength truly means for me. It means a fighting spirit, a humble soul, and a very thankful heart. It means trying even when you tremble. It means taking a backseat and learning from those wise souls you come across. It means realizing that there will always be more to learn and to do, but in this moment I will do my best to learn, to try, to give, to live in the here and now.<br />
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I learned that time is a very fragile and delicate entity. In one year I changed, I grew, I learned and all the people I left behind back home did the same. Our lives although interconnected by the relationships we share have separate journeys to go on. So instead of thinking that I missed out on sharing time with them. I think to myself that when we cross paths again we'll be better than before, wiser and happier than we were. I learned again how important it is to make your life the way you imagine it to be, and then more importantly to live that life, and live it with passion and enthusiasm. We think we have forever, but truly we only have today, right now is what we have. I lost someone this year, and I think for as long as I live there will be hole in my heart where he was. A lot can change in a year, and when I went home I didn't get to see him like I promised. I know he's looking down at me and smiling, because I listened to his words. I lived without getting tangled in worries. I lived. I tried, and I know he'd be proud of me. I miss you Big Daddy, but I know you've got a great spot to watch me live a good life. Thank you for believing in me, you are a part of the reason I made it here. Thank you for all that you taught me, and continue to teach me. I love you!<br />
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I realized that being here was another stepping stone to reaching my purpose, the calling for my life. I used to want to be a lawyer. I wanted to be at the top. I wanted to be seen. I wanted to make lots of money. I wanted to live well and take care of my family. Being here, being a teacher just showed me that my true calling is something just as important but less grand. I'm here to make a positive difference in the world. I think deep down I always knew I was meant to guide people. To be someone they could talk to. Someone who'd listen, help, inspire, and teach them. I'm going to apply to grad school to study Counseling. I finally know without a shadow of a doubt what I'm supposed to do with my life, with the time that I have here. It feels right, and it feels so good to know what I'm supposed to do, and to have a passion for it. I'm supposed to counsel, inspire, and give people hope. I'm looking forward to the journey ahead, because although it will be long and at times difficult it is my true journey, the one I'm supposed to travel down. I can't wait for all that lies ahead. When I got here, my future seemed so vague. I wasn't sure of what happens after Seoul. Now I know the why, the what(s), and most of the how. Everything that is unclear I trust that God will give me clarity when it is time to cross that bridge.<br />
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When I first came to Seoul I was so happy to leave home. I needed to breathe. I needed space to grow, and I got it, and I grew. This time around I'm not running away from home. I'm running towards it. I know this second and final year is my vacation before I go back and put in the work to make my life as I want it to be. I'm looking forward to going home, to my family, to my friends, to the world I didn't realize I loved so much. I'm really looking forward to stepping off that plane a year from now and coming back home. Now I understand that home is what I choose it to be, what I fight for it to be. Home isn't a place, for me home is the people I love, and I look forward to returning to them in year. May we greet each other in good health, happy spirits, and with plenty of laughter. Until then, live well.<br />
<br />
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<b><i><u>Chapter Two: Blooming</u></i></b><br />
As I enter this new year I look forward to more pages of growth, but more than anything more pages of blooming into the person I was always meant to be. Now I know who I am, at the very center of my being I know who I am, and who I want to be. Like the caterpillar who became a butterfly, I have finally transformed and found that I have wings to fly, to soar across the skies. That is what I'm doing. I am spreading my wings an seeing where they take me. Trusting that no matter how hard the winds blows I will be strong enough to handle it.<br />
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Many of my friends know this new year is the year of me. The year to be brave, bold, and true in everything I do, everywhere I go, and with everyone I meet. To take chances, to be free, to let myself discover pieces of me I didn't see before. This is a year of trying. To just go for the things, places and people I want. To just give it all a try and see what happens. To always be true to who I am, what I want, and what I don't want or need. To create a path towards the future I'm dreaming of and looking towards.<br />
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This year is another year in Seoul, but also a year of transitioning back home. I'm looking into Counseling programs, working on other <a href="http://bealightinthedark.com/">projects</a>, and really just shaping the future I want to walk into a year from now. I'm planting seeds and waiting for them to grow into a collage of beauty. I'm excited. I'm optimistic. I'm happy and thankful.<br />
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Coming to Seoul was so much more than changing my location. It was the beginning of me becoming my own person, and finding out what living means to me. This year was my year to grow, and I am thankful for all the experiences that helped me grow so much and so well. I'm liking my new look very much.<br />
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Happy one year to me and all my fellow Seoul peeps. To those who left, I'll be seeing you. To those who stayed for another year let's make this year even better!!!!<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
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<div style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><strong><a _mce_href="http://bealightinthedark.tumblr.com/post/3361153307/thehopenotesproject" href="http://bealightinthedark.tumblr.com/post/3361153307/thehopenotesproject" style="color: #007bff;">Help Spread Hope…</a></strong></div><div style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><strong> </strong><strong><a _mce_href="http://bealightinthedark.tumblr.com/alightinthedark" href="http://bealightinthedark.tumblr.com/alightinthedark" style="color: #007bff;">The Lighthouse</a></strong></div><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Zo75kEemvTI" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-66988020654372364522011-02-23T11:05:00.000+09:002011-02-23T11:05:05.983+09:00Living: No Regrets...We think we've got forever to do, say, and give the things we want. When the truth is tomorrow or even all of today isn't gauranteed to us. After I got sick in 2009 I started to realize how precious my life is. How fragile and unexpected life is. It made me live more. It made me try harder. It made me braver. It made me kinder. It continues to make me wiser. Life is only going to be as good as you make it, as good as you choose for it to be. So my wish and hope is that you have no regrets. No skeletons in your closet. No unsaid words that live on in your heart. No I wish I dids. Just no regrets that leave you in an ocean of wonder of what could have been if only I'd said this, done that, given...<br />
<br />
Last night a few friends and I had another goodbye dinner for a friend leaving for the States. On my way home I saw this old man trying to put this huge tv on his cart while everyone just passed by him. Even I walked past him looking at him but then I stopped. I turned around, walked back and told him let's do it together. He smiled in thanks and a bit of surprise. The two of us lifted that heavy tv onto his cart. I smiled at him, and he thanked me, and I went to my apartment. I knew I had done the right thing. It didn't take much time from my life to help him out. It wasn't just the right thing to do, it was the kind thing to do. That's the kind of person I want to always be. Someone who gives not because she has to but because it is the kind and right thing to do.<br />
<br />
This morning I called my family to wish my Big Mummy and my cousin a happy birthday. I called my Big Mummy first, and it felt so good to take some time to make her laugh and smile. To let her know even through the distance I remembered her day. As I talked to her I realized how important it is to do little things like this. To take or make time in our days to let the people in our lives know how much we love them, how knowing them makes life so much better. After, I called my cousin, he's been my big brother since we were kids. When I called his voice sounded so sad, and I found out that a good friend of his had died the night before. I'd met the friend a few times, he was a great guy. Even now I can't help but smile when I think about him. He was so full of laughter, and was always smiling. He was so kind, funny, and sweet. Now he's gone, and all we have are those beautiful memories of him. <br />
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I had talked to my cousin a few hours before I called this second time, and it never ceases to amaze me how delicate time is. In a few hours everything changed. Sadness overtook happiness for his birthday. Now we are all a little quieter, and a little wiser of how precious our time is. My cousin said to me, "he kept in touch with his friend but he should have done more." I told him that I'm sure he knew he was loved by him, and that now he has the chance to do more, love more, and be there for the people in his life. His wife, his friends, his soon to be child. <br />
<br />
Death is a reminder of not we lossed but what we have. That we should cherish them, and not take them for granted. That we need to make time even when we feel like there is none to give. We should give more than we take. Say the words in our hearts instead of ignoring them. Take chances and risks because you never know until you try. We must live genuine and good lives because this one is all we have. So live it splendidly. Live it kindly. Live it well. Let peace be in your soul and laughter in your heart. Don't waste time not doing the things you love, not being with the person you love, and please don't waste time with grudges. Let those old wounds heal. Let those scars fade away. Time is such a blessing, be thankful for it! Your time won't last forever. So please, enjoy the time you have. Love deeply. Dream without limits. Live genuinely. Laugh often. Always smile. Give more. Be kind. More than anything let the people in your life know you love them.<br />
<br />
Make someone's day. It's not the big moments that count it is the little ones. Those little slips of time we share laughing over coffee, debating tv shows, embracing in a warm hug, giggling about love, talking on Skype about our lives, and especially saying and showing "I love you!!!!" Those moments of togetherness in even the smallest ways have such a large place in a person's heart.<br />
<br />
So call someone up, tell them how awesome and loved they are. Spend time with someone you love; a friend, a lover, a family member. Don't just make today different, make all the tomorrows different as well. Don't have regrets, and don't ever feel like you should have said more, done more, or given more. Do it now. Say it now. Give it now. Now is what we have, please use it wisely.<br />
<br />
We will miss you friend, but I know you are smiling and laughing down on us. Another guardian angel to watch over us. Thank you for the laughter and the smiles! Thank you for even the little moments of time we shared together. I smile when I think of you because I see your big, warm, and welcoming smile in my memories. Rest in heavenly peace. You are missed, and you are so very loved!!!! Always be blessed.<br />
<br />
Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-8591089188275339982011-02-16T14:44:00.002+09:002011-02-17T10:53:16.167+09:00The Choices We Make & The Paths We TakeHello lovely readers! I hope your Wednesday has been chugging along nicely. Mine has been pretty good. No classes. Yummy Korean food made by my 6-5 kids, and plenty of time to do some research for grad school. My head is swimming with questions, but my path is clear. I'm looking forward to grad school. I am however not looking forward to the process of getting there:)!<br />
<br />
This is my second week back and my heart is still at home. I'm not going to rush myself into getting back into the groove of things. I'll feel better when I feel better. However, I'm not going to spend my time moping around either. There is a whole lot of things to do, and I plan to start checking them off my list. I'm laughing at myself as I write this, while I shake my head in wonder at my weirdness. I'm not making any sense, right?!These days I'm so filled with happiness, that some people think I'm high. Really, I'm just high on the awesomeness of life. High and thankful, very very thankful!<br />
<br />
Tomorrow my 6th graders graduate. I got the yearbook last week, and it amazed me that for the past year I was their teacher and they were my students. It's been a rollercoaster ride, with more ups than downs, more highs than lows. I'm going to miss them, but in my heart I wish them the best in their future years. I've got a few students I'm really going to miss, so I hope they come back to visit me in my last year. I need to remember to take my camera to school tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Last week I was pretty worn out, and I guess all the teachers found out, because so far everyone I meet asks me about my health with this extremely concerned look on their face. I am thankful for their concern but really I'm fine. I think, no I know being homesick and jetlagged was/is a toxic combination. I'm still waking up at odd hours but my internal clock is finding its rhythm again. Thank goodness.<br />
<br />
Over the weekend I went to a birthday dinner on Friday and then a goodbye dinner on Saturday for two of my friends that are leaving. I'm really sad about them leaving. There is just so much leaving going on this month and it make my heart sad. My awesome co is leaving for 6 months to train. My teacher friend is leaving cause she's having a baby. My other co found out she is pregnant and is not going to be and English teacher next year. This year is going to be full of change, and inside I'm screaming NOOOOO!!!<br />
<br />
I don't take change well, but I'm trying to. I'm learning to, because really in life there will always be change. So I'm making the choice to be positive about all the changes, and go into this new school year with an open mind and heart. To breathe, and take things as they go. To just be patient with myself and with the changes that will happen. I'm choosing to live my life that way. Things are not going to go my way all the time, or be easy, but if I try my best to take things as they come and make the best of it I know my life will be that much better.<br />
<br />
On Monday, my teacher friend who's having a baby and I went to dinner. Our goodbye dinner since she is switching schools and you know, having a baby. I'm really exhausted with that word, with having to say goodbye. I've been saying it a lot in the last month and I don't like it. I really don't. I wish I could be in all these places at once so I wouldn't have to miss out on anything, but life isn't like that. We miss out on some chapters so we can write others. I'm really going to miss her. Her and I could really talk, and she gave me a lot of good advice. I'm going to miss having someone to vent to about school stuff, and to talk to about life stuff. Once people have babies they disappear from my life:(!<br />
<br />
I know I'm being melodramatic:)! I will see her again, because I'll take the time to. I hope to see my friends who are leaving again. One day in the future it would be nice to see each other in the lives we lead then. For now I've got to keep going down my own path. I've got all these dreams, goals, wishes, plans, hopes... whatever you want to call it and I have to walk the path towards making them real. I'm looking into the future past this one year and I know I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. It makes me cringe when I think about having to work hard, but I know nothing I want will happen by me waiting for it. So I will boldly go forth and work hard towards all my future somethings.<br />
<br />
I've got the next week off and I plan to use my time wisely. I want to spend my days preparing for the next year and making this year an amazing year overflowing with experiences, adventures, and growth. Afterall it is my last year.<br />
<br />
To my friends that are leaving I wish even more amazing experiences come your way. I'm going to miss you, but lets meet again. Thank you for all the memories, adventures, and laughter. I hate the finality of goodbye, so I’ll stick with see you later. Something to look forward to instead of something I leave behind.<br />
<br />
Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
<br />
<strong>Sidenote:</strong> I'd love it if you all took some time to check out <a href="http://bealightinthedark.tumblr.com/alightinthedark">Be A Light In The Dark</a>. My hope is that it/I will inspire you...Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-40482802500240251352011-02-10T22:13:00.001+09:002011-02-10T22:14:43.726+09:00LimboI don't know if it is just homesickness, but I've just been in this limbo since I got back to Seoul. I haven't even unpacked my suitcases yet! Very unlike me! I just don't want to unpack yet. I don't want to settle back in yet. I'm not ready to. This has been a rough week, but tomorrow is Friday so that's the rainbow in my week:)!<br />
<br />
I went to work on Monday, after not being able to sleep from 3AM. I survived that day, and went straight to sleep once I got home. I woke up at 7AM on Tuesday. I went to school. I couldn't make it through my first period. I slept till lunch, ate lunch, and went home on sick leave. I could barely stand, I was so fatigued. I took Wednesday off, because I really just needed a day of rest. I slept in. I cooked. I skyped, and then I slept some more. I woke up around 3AM on Wednesday from a nightmare about these little men (clowns) trying to break into my house in AZ. It really shook me up because I am terrified of clowns, so I called home to make sure everything was okay. Everything was, and by God's grace it will stay that way.<br />
<br />
I spent most of the early morning writing, reading old entries, and listening to music. I chatted with an old friend, and got ready for school. I taught 3 of my 5 classes, and went home to find my internet was not working. Long story, but I'll have to deal with it tomorrow, or rather my co will. I fell asleep at my desk, woke up, cooked dinner, went to Home Plus, and now I am eating cake, listening to Mat Kearney, and writing. Everything feels a little weird. I feel weird, not necessarily in a bad way. Just in a weird way. I'm looking forward to the end of the month break. I need to rest, to get myself out of limbo, and start making the most of my year here. My second and last year in Seoul.<br />
<br />
At this point I'm missing home too much to actually feel very excited for this next year. I've got dreams and plans for this year. As much as it is my year in Seoul it is also a transitional year for me. I've got to figure out about grad school, and the chapters that come after this one. I'm not worried. I just know everything is going to fall into place as it should. I'm excited to wrap up my Seoul chapters and start building the career I want for myself. Now that I am finally so sure of what I want to do I cannot wait to get started on the path that will lead me there. Even so, I've got to enjoy my time here. I want to explore more of Korea than other parts of Asia. I just want to go boldly and bravely into this year, and really stretch myself and see what places and people I reach.<br />
<br />
I'm really thankful for this life I am living. For all the dreams that have come true. For all the people that have helped me along the way in one way or another. I'm really thankful for my fighting spirit and my trying heart. I'm thankful for so many small things and moments that led to big discoveries, experiences, and realizations. I'm just really thankful to be living my life. To have the opportunity to explore and enjoy it. This really is my year. My year to be brave, bold, and true in everything I do, with everyone I meet, and everywhere I go. A stepping stone for all the years that come after this one. My year to bloom brighter, to soar higher, and to grow even more.<br />
<br />
I'm happy. I'm thankful. I'm homesick. I'm so many little things, but more than anything I'm just so peaceful these days. I feel good from the inside out, and I hope I can pass on some of this goodness to the people around me. Enjoy your night/day and remember you are awesome, period.<br />
<br />
Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/40Ow1kKxVaY" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-88828794446024554212011-02-07T06:39:00.002+09:002011-02-07T06:41:27.691+09:00Comes & Goes...My body is back here in Seoul, but my heart is still at home with the family and friends I've left behind for another year. Leaving this second time around was so much harder and more emotional. There were so many instances I wanted to cry, like when my grandma started crying as she prayed for me, as I prayed for her, and we said our goodbyes. Or when I looked back down the escalators to see my mom still standing there watching me head to my gate. I really wanted to cry but I held it in, and tried to smile as I waved back at her and told her I loved her.<br />
<br />
My mom drove me to the airport, we left the house around 6:00 AM, and got there around 6:30 AM. Everything was going fine until it came time to check in my two luggages. I knew already I'd have to pay excess because both were 70lbs. I had brought a lot of my favorite foods, seasonings, and such to last me a year. I told the counter lady it was $50 per bag, because that is what it says in the airline baggage policy. She said she had to check and called Asiana Airlines. She told me to get into this other line and when I get up to the counter she'd let the person know how much they would be. As we waited in the other line, another woman came and told us to come with her, and tried to do everything all over again. I tried to explain to her there was another woman already doing it, but she wasn't really listening. Thank goodness the other woman came, and what would you know the bags were $50, like I said. It took forever to check in, they did a lot of running around, and all I could do was laugh. This is life's unexpected curve balls.<br />
<br />
I hugged my mom goodbye and went up the escalator stairs and heard her call out to me to take care of myself and that she loved me. I told her not to cry and that I loved her, and would see her in a year. I got in line for security, got all my stuff ready, and went through the monitor. It kept beeping. Great...not. I had nothing on me, so the lady was like it has to be the under wire in my bra. She said I'd have to wait and do a full body scan before I could leave. I just smiled, and said let's do this. Honestly, I was laughing wondering if the whole journey would be like this, and it turned out to be full of unexpected moments.<br />
<br />
She did the scan, cleared me and I headed to my gate. I waited half and hour and then we boarded. Everything seemed fine, but as the plane taxied out they suddenly said something was wrong with the fuel indicators and we would have to have it looked at. This led to a two hour delay. We waited on the plane as they had people come out and check what was wrong with the plane. I wasn't too mad over this since I had a whole exit row to myself on this flight. Pure heaven. So comfortable! The only problem was I had a connecting flight in Seattle at 1:20 PM. Originally I was supposed to arrive at 10:31 PM, I didn't arrive till 12:10 PM. Thank goodness Asian delayed the flight because of connecting flights like mine. I made my flight. It was a full flight so no exit row for me, but at least I got my aisle seat this time around.<br />
<br />
The flight was fine. These kind men all stood up to help me with my carry-on, as we boarded and as we landed. The food was okay. I watched Charlie St. Cloud, Cyrano Agency, and Step Up 3. I really liked Step Up 3 because Moose is sooooo adorable:)! Hahaha...I slept when I didn't watch movies, and walked around to get the stiffness out of my legs. I arrived in Seoul around 6:30 PM. 20 minutes behind schedule. I went through immigration and when I got to customs I had the pleasure of being chosen to have my carry-on searched. Got that done, found the bus home, and headed back to my apartment.<br />
<br />
As I headed home on the bus I felt a feeling of not belonging here, but it soon changed just as the roads changed the closer I got to my place. This is my life right now, for the next year this is my life and I am going to embrace it. I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to live it. As I got to the bus stop by my place my friend came to help me with my luggages. I got to my apartment and when I got inside I had this overwhelming urge to cry. I just wanted to cry because I was missing home so much, I am still missing it so much. I never realized how much I'd enjoy being back home. I think sometimes you need to go home to remember where you came from, who you were, and to bring back those pieces of yourself you left behind there. That's how it felt for me. Home really is where my heart is, where it will remain.<br />
<br />
Before I left Seoul, I wrote a letter to myself to read when I got back. I smiled as I saw the letter waiting for me on the table. As I read the words I wrote on 1/14/2011 I smiled because everything I wanted from myself happened in the past three weeks, and will continue to happen. I wanted to be brave, to be honest, to be bold, and true in everything I do and that is how I am living. Being myself, and trying my best. This is happiness, and it won't disappear no matter where in the world I am.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pEFxfVyz4Uc" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-79008125136986261922011-02-04T04:19:00.001+09:002011-02-04T04:20:30.629+09:00On My Way Back Home...<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bmVlHNDk_hM" title="YouTube video player" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
On my way back home, by chance I thought of<br />
All my favorite songs, where I'd gone wrong<br />
The only words that I could think of<br />
I'm pissing my life away in the form of a song<br />
On my way back home<br />
<br />
Every step, a victory it was<br />
I was cheating death, just in time I woke<br />
My memories start to wander off<br />
Come to me, the remembrance of<br />
On my way back home<br />
<br />
I came in this way and here now I'll stay<br />
If the unknown have to wait one more day<br />
There's often times that it comes out wrong<br />
But luckily I, I got a mind to know<br />
On my way back homeLola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-5790354664744902862011-02-03T14:41:00.001+09:002011-02-03T14:42:53.641+09:00Pages Of Me...As always hello my wonderful readers! I hope that life has been treating you with kindness. I've got two days left here in Arizona, and I am so sad about leaving. I just know saying goodbye to my family and friends here is going to make me cry. I leave Saturday morning, and I am just wishing I had a few more days to spend with all the people I love here.<br />
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When I was coming back I didn't realize I would love being home so much. I felt like I had outgrown my life here, but coming back made me appreciate what I have here, who I have here. My family and my friends here have been by my side through so much, and this year away is going to be a lot harder than the first one. I'm still going, but my once light heart is now heavy when I think about another year before I get to see them, hug them, share my life with them. *Sigh* I just really don't want to end up crying at the airport on Saturday but I feel like I will. This place, these people are my home. They've always been, and it took leaving them behind to come back again. I know this year will be even sweeter because I know I won't stay longer in Korea. After this year I will return to my home, to my family, to my friends, and start new chapters in my story. <br />
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I'm excited for my future. For this second year of growth in Korea, the memories I will have, the friends I will enjoy, and for all the years of discovery that come after these Seoul chapters end. Everyone here has talked about how happy I look, and it is true. I am happy. Not just because I went abroad for a year. I am happy with the young woman I am right now. This 23 year old me amazes me with the strength and will power she has to overcome, to discover, to try. I'm so happy and proud of myself. There truly is beauty, happiness, and freedom in being yourself and letting yourself discover, explore, and create who you are. To know that only you can define that, and only you can change that. Only you can be the author of your life.<br />
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Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and the smile on my face amazes me. This is what living is. This is what being alive feels like. Sincere, honest, and genuine effort. That is how I try to live my life. 2010 was my year to grow, and now 2011 is my year to bloom, and already my rainbow of colors is stretching across this world. I'm looking forward to more adventures, challenges, and discoveries this year. When I first came to Korea it was to get away for a bit and become my own person. To be the only voice guiding me along this journey of life. To figure out who I am and who I want to be. I know who I am and I know who I want to be, where I want to be, and what I want in my future.<br />
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This peace and clarity inside of me about this second year, and all the chapters to follow fills me up with joy. When I came home I prayed for answers to what my future would look like, and I got enough to start forming an image of what lays ahead for me. I'm excited to work towards that bright and happy future. I'm excited to make my dreams come true. I'm excited to learn, to grow, to try, to live my life with enthusiasm and a lot of heart. <br />
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I'm so thankful for the people in my life who have all had a hand in getting me this far, and I know they will be at my side as I go even farther into my journey of life. I really am blessed with an amazing family, and friends who are family to me. I'm thankful to all the people who've made the past three weeks wonderful. All the memories, laughter, stories, love, and time they've given me will be saved inside of me for those moments when I really miss them. I have a feeling the first month back is going to be rough. I'm going to be very homesick, and to make matters sadder, I'll have to say goodbye to friends who are heading back home, or continuing their journey somewhere else. Instead of saying goodbye, I will just say "see you later!" I'm going to miss them, but I know the times we shared won't disappear because they'll be the memories we carry with us everywhere we go.<br />
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I'm very thankful for all the love, blessings, and amazing moments I've had these past three weeks. I'm going to make the most out of my last 2 days here, and when I do leave I'll do my best to smile and not cry. It feels like Seoul was a dream I dreamed long ago. I realize now that home is here, it always has been. I left in order to come back and realize that all along this was where I belonged. I know this year is going to be amazing. It's going to be a year of triumph, laughter, and lots of fun. I'm going to make it that way. I'm going to keep living my life and forging my future with each present day.<br />
<br />
Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XMkjAtZzB-k" title="YouTube video player" width="640"></iframe>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-50730335980043509632011-01-21T21:32:00.008+09:002011-01-26T02:18:55.846+09:00BloomingBeing back home has been wonderful. Seeing the people I love, catching up on their lives, just looking up at the gorgeous AZ sky fills me up with so much joy. I know that it will be hard to leave this place, my home for another year. I didn't realize all that I had missed until I came back. Now I worry about going back for another year. I know that for now my life is in Seoul. I'm happy there, but nothing compares to this feeling of love for the people and places I have here. I really do live in a beautiful place, and I'm thankful that over 11 years ago my mom decided to move us from New Jersey to Arizona. It was the beginning of so many wonderful experiences.<br />
<br />
One of my favorite things to do is look up at the sky. The sky here is breathtaking. It is so beautiful, and it reminds me every day that beauty is here, there -- everywhere. We've just got to open our eyes and hearts to those little glimpses of beauty we discover every day. Whether in ourselves, the people in our lives, strangers, or our environment. There is something or someone that will bring a smile to your face as you go about your day. Just be open enough to receive it/them.<br />
<br />
Since I've been home I've been doing a lot of reading. I've been reading my old journal entries and the things I wrote make me laugh, wonder how I could have thought that, remember what I'm fighting and living for, cry on occasion. I've always had too many thoughts dancing in my mind, with no place to go, and no room to breathe. So I wrote then and I write now to give them air, life, meaning. The entries that really got to me were the ones from the 18 year old me. Back then I carried so much weight on my shoulders. I wanted to save everything and everyone.<br />
<br />
I wanted to be this perfect student, daughter, friend -- just perfect in everything and in everyway. A goal that could never become reality. Perfection has no place in this world. Our flaws, our weaknesses, and our failures are the stepping stones to our future triumphs if we just take the first step towards moving beyond that momentary setback. If we just choose to be true to ourselves, and not try to be someone other than the person who's reflection stares back at you in the mirror. I had so many worries and as the 23 year old me I wish I could have told my younger self not to forget that happiness starts and ends with being true to who you are in everything you do, everywhere you go, and with everyone you meet. <br />
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To not spend so much time worrying about tomorrow and spend more time enjoying today. To not be afraid to risk, to try, to challenge yourself to test your capabilities. That is how you grow, learn, live. To trust your intuition, yourself, and never let anyone crush the belief you have in yourself. As I grew older, I grew wiser. As the years went on I realized all of those things. That is the beauty of aging in body, you grow in mind, in spirit, in wisdom. I guess if I had traveled back in time to tell the younger me everything would be alright, she wouldn't have faced her battles and come out the stronger and happier me.<br />
<br />
There was so much fire in me, like a flame that had no end or beginning, it just burned brightly with no direction. Five years down the road that fire is still burning inside of me, but it has taken shape, glows a softer shade of red, and lights my way towards the future I'm imagining day by day. I keep thinking to myself this is what happiness means. This is what having a purpose feels like. I might not have all the details worked out, but I've got the vision, the passion, and the perseverance to make these dreams into my daily reality.<br />
<blockquote><strong><em>There comes a point in our lives where we just have to let go of all we know and start again. I'm at that point in my life, and although it is scary it is also beautiful. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I want to do my best to head towards it with determination and perseverance. I want to be the one writing my story and not reading it! I want to have the patience to let things play out instead of trying to rush everything. All the dreams I have will blossom in their own time. So for now I just want to nurture them and give them room to grow.</em></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><em>I want to start living the life I've imagined and take advantage of every chance to make a dream into my reality. I'm thankful that I have the time to see what else is out there, and create my future one day at a time.<br />
<br />
I'm starting to understand what it means to "grow up"...</em></strong> </blockquote><br />
I wrote this December 4th 2009 in my entry <a href="http://lola-o-in-seoul.blogspot.com/2009/12/bloom.html">Bloom</a>. As I read this entry again I find myself thinking, "this is my season to bloom. Right now I am blooming into my true self, the me that has been lying in wait for me to claim her. In my own time I've finally gotten to that point where I realize the power I have to do something amazing in this world, with my life, for people I come across. I'm the author, the pen, the pages, the words, the thoughts, the... everything in my story. No one else can or will tell my story for me. I've got to do that. I'm the only one that can do that. After all, it is MY story, my life, my struggles, my discoveries, my mistakes, my dreams, and no one else's. <br />
<br />
It feels like I am at that point in my life where my eyes are wide open and clear. My vision is filled with clarity about who I am, where I am going, who I want along for the ride, and just my purpose in this world. The future I'm walking towards looks so exciting, genuine, and very true to me. I can feel it deep down in my soul that I'm heading in the right direction. I'm on a journey that feels like its been waiting for me all this time. Waiting for me to be honest, to be courageous, to be myself. Everything feels so wonderful. The heaviness of the 18 year old me has faded into nothingness, and the hope, faith, and vision of the 23 year old me gives me so much joy. <br />
<br />
My hope as you read my story, is that you find the inspiration you need to pick up that pen and write your own. No one has your style or understanding of who you are. So only you can write the words that become the pages of your life. It took me a long time to get to this part of my journey, but now that I am here, the path ahead is so clear. So lovely. The path I walk on has become smoother and my footsteps lighter. I told my mom the other day "Mom, I'm going to do amazing things in this world. I just know it!" I smile as I type that out. I believe it. I own it, and I have faith in me. I'm going to help so many people find their way, because that is my purpose. The one I've been given and the one I've chosen. To be a lighthouse in the dark and murky waters of life. To light their way back and guide them to safe shores. I've got dreams. I've got plans. I''ve got hope. I've got determination. I'm going to make it happen, one day at a time, one step at a time!<br />
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<blockquote><strong><em>As long as we are persistent in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.” ~Denis Waitley</em></strong></blockquote><blockquote><strong><em>Bloom where you are planted. 1 Corinthians 7:17-24</em></strong> </blockquote><blockquote><strong><em>People deal too much with the negative, what is wrong.... </em></strong><strong><em>Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom. ~Thich Nhat Hanh</em></strong></blockquote><blockquote><strong><em>And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. Psalms 1:3</em></strong></blockquote><blockquote><strong><em>Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~Mark Twain</em></strong></blockquote><blockquote><strong><em>For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 </em></strong></blockquote><blockquote><strong><em>To dream anything that you want to dream. That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed. ~Bernard Edmonds </em></strong></blockquote>Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-80299500055104143532011-01-17T15:35:00.001+09:002011-01-17T15:37:07.824+09:00Awake In A DreamAs always hello everyone! I hope that life has been very kind to you so far in the New Year! I'm back in Phoenix, Arizona:)! I got back Friday night, and the jet lag is still messing with me.<br />
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Okay, so I ended up packing at the last minute, because I fell asleep on Thursday night. I woke up Friday around 4AM and just got all the packing, cleaning, and last minute errands done. So I ended up having to bring 2 luggages, a carry-on, and my backpack because all the souvenirs and things I wanted to bring back for good wouldn't fit into one. Oh, the consequences of being a shopaholic! All my friends who lived by me were working so I had no help to the bus stop to take the airport bus. I took a purse strap tied the carry-on to one luggage and rolled everything to the bus stop by myself. People kept staring at me, it would have been great if they offered me some help! I got to the airport around 4 PM and found out my flight would be leaving at 6 PM instead of 6:20, great news for me! The earlier I leave the better.<br />
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I went through security with no problems, boarded the plane, and that is when things started to go wrong and weird. I requested an aisle seat. They put me in a middle seat. I always need to sit in the aisle. I hate flying, too many people in a small space. It makes me extremely anxious to be stuck between people, especially if I don't know them. Well I sat down, and the guy who was in the window seat started talking to me a mile a minute, and asking weird questions. He gave me bad vibes, so I asked the attendant if an aisle seat became available could I change my seat? She told me the flight was full, so it was unlikely. I just said to her, if one does become available please give it to me. Not to mention my row was by the bathrooms which just made it even less appealing. Middle seat, creepy guy, and bathrooms. No, No, and NO!<br />
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The guy who had the aisle seat came and sat down. I noticed an empty seat in front of me in the exit row, it was a window but with plenty of leg space so I was going to sit there. He asked me what was up, because he saw me looking so anxious and I told him I hate sitting in the middle. Aisle guy was really nice, and said he'd trade seats with me. The guy was like 6'3 so I felt bad and asked him if he was sure. He said no problem. Great! Then the creepy window guy said he'd take the exit row seat. Even better. So aisle guy became window guy, and I got my aisle seat, with no one in the middle. Perfect! The only problem for the next 10 hours was creepy guy. He stared at me so often it made me really uncomfortable. He would keep turning around to glance at me, and then get up to get something out of the overhead bin above me over and over. He just made me really freaked out.<br />
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I will probably never fly again without using Korean Air or Asiana. It is worth the money for a more comfortable journey. This flight had no individual screens to choose what you want to watch, and so I was dying of boredom the whole time. For some reason I thought it would be the same as when I first traveled to SK, so I hadn't prepared anything. I got to San Fransisco in one piece. I went through immigration and then I went to get my luggage to go through customs. I was trying to pull my luggage but there were too many luggages under mine and I cut my pinky finger. At first it seemed to not be a big deal, but then so much blood started coming out. I had nothing but wet wipes so I wrapped my finger, got my other luggage, and went to customs. The security guy could tell something was wrong. I'm pretty sure I looked like I was going to cry, because that is how I felt. He took me to another security guy who bandaged me up, the cut was pretty deep and painful. He also let me take a shortcut out.<br />
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After, I rechecked my luggage, went through security again, and made it to my gate almost two hours later. Seriously, you have to have a layover coming into the US. Immigration and customs takes so much time. I had about two hours before my next flight so I just watched Grey's Anatomy and skyped my family. The second flight I got my aisle seat, and the only bad thing was the crazy turbulence we went through. I arrived in Phoenix the same time I left Seoul. Time differences are such a mind trip. I got to baggage claim, and all of a sudden my brother was behind me. I was so happy to see him. I kept hugging him over and over. It felt and still feels like I am awake in a dream right now. Somethings are different, and somethings are the same. It feels a bit alien to me because I've been out of the loop.<br />
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My brother and I got my luggage and headed to my mom waiting in the car. Wow! My mom was looking so beautiful. I couldn't stop staring at her. I was so happy to see her. It was a great moment. Phoenix is so hot right now. I packed all the wrong stuff. You can even wear shorts if you wanted to. As we drove on the highway to my mom's house I had that feeling of returning to home. I think no matter where I go AZ will always be where home is. It's so beautiful here. The sky is beyond lovely. The air is fresh and clean. The roads open and not filled with people or cars. There is room to breathe, to be, to think. I've missed home. I've missed these open spaces. I've missed my family and friends. It feels good to be home. Although the time is short, even being here for one moment, is a moment that counts.<br />
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There are a lot of people I need to see, and places I need to go to while I'm here. I want to make the most out of my days. I cannot wait to drive my car. Hopefully tomorrow. The only thing I miss is the stillness and solitude of having my own space. Right now everyone is sleeping so I have a moment to catch my breathe, and put my thoughts down. I feel different. I have to ask myself, is this for real? Am I really here? It's as if my vision is blurry and my head is filled with clouds. I'm kind of floating around in this waking dream.<br />
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I'm happy to be back. To be here. To eat my grandma's cooking. See my mom's gorgeous smile. Look at my little brother living on his own. Just seeing them in their element, living their lives it makes my heart feel happy, feel peace. It just feels good to see all the people who mean so much to me, who have been there with me through everything, who continue to be my reasons for making my life something wonderful. This is home to me. Not a state, not a city, not a house. Home is people I love. It will always be found in them no matter where I go or they go. When I'm with them, I am at home. It feels great to be home!!!<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-70064703936913404372011-01-11T00:40:00.000+09:002011-01-11T00:40:23.907+09:002011 So Far...As always hello my lovely readers.<br />
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It's about 4 minutes to midnight and I am still awake:(! I've been trying to sort my clothes, purses, etc to bring home as well as the souvenirs I bought for my family and friends back home. Money is just pouring out of my wallet and not in a good way. I bought my plane the weekend after New Years for about $1,500. It was an okay deal compared to the $2,00+ tickets I had been seeing. The only downside is 3-4 hour layovers going to AZ and coming back to Seoul. I guess I can catch up on my reading during that time.<br />
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So what's new?<br />
I went to Yongpyong ski resort for the New Year. Brought in 2011 with good friends, fireworks, and lots of cold and snow:)! It was a nice first weekend of the New Year. I attempted to ski for the first time. My good friend was my coach, and I am really thankful to him for how patient he was with teaching not only me but two other friends. Skiing is fun, but scary. The speed freaks me out, even on the bunny slopes. My friends and I fell every time we'd get off the lift, much to our embarrassment. It was really beautiful. All the mountains and snow, a very lovely weekend minus the long bus rides there and back. Lots of good company, board games, junk food, and laughter.<br />
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Besides that nothing major. I bought my ticket home. Been doing Winter camp, and thankfully there is only three days left of it. I cannot believe I'll be heading home Friday night. It feels weird. I feel weird, but good about going home for 3 weeks. It will be a blur though. So much to eat, so many people and babies to see, and lots of places I want to go. I'm crossing my fingers I can drive my car while I'm there. That would be great.<br />
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I had an epic fall last Thursday. I was walking out of my apartment. Really happy, on my way to meet my tutor friend. I was listening to music and all of a sudden I could feel myself slipping and I tried to catch myself but I landed on all fours. People just stared, I wanted to cry because my knees hurt so bad. I limped to the bus with bruised knees, and the ruined gloves my sister sent me. Then I got on the bus, and halfway through I realized I didn't have my Korean study materials. I had left them at home. I was so frustrated, but you know what everything turned out great.<br />
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We skipped the tutor session and headed to Insadong to buy souvenirs for my family and friends back home. Then we ate delicious 순두부, got some yummy Starbucks, and just had a really good time. I was so thankful to her for spending all afternoon and night helping me out. Such a good friend. Besides that I went to a Changall exhibition at the Seoul Museum of Art but it was too crowded to enjoy it. I went to Tomatillo for the first time too that night. Very similar to Chipotle. I ran into a fellow <a href="http://www.qiranger.com/">blogger</a> who does really informative youtube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/qiranger">videos</a> of places he travels to mostly in Korea but other places too. I always remember faces which is why I recognized him. Haha...I kept on looking at him, he's really tall! I thought to myself I've seen him before. Oh, yeah! Youtube:)! Good times:)<br />
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Tomorrow I'm going to go to the Immigration office to extend my visa for next year. Then I'm going to pack, hopefully upload the mega amount of photos I have, and do some cooking. Thursday we are going to some English camp in Paju with our winter camp kids. I'm in charge of the 4th-5th graders. My favorite bunch! I've got a very laid back, nothing special kind of week left. I'm trying not to dread the long journey home, but I get so anxious in airports and airplanes. When I came to Korea I had to use my inhaler because I was so anxious and couldn't breathe properly. I don't have that same nervousness so hopefully no panic or asthma attacks for me Got to remain optimistic. I've got a lot of people waiting for me, and I cannot wait to give them hugs and listen to their stories of the past year. I'll be home soon. I cannot wait to see you all!! <br />
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Time to go to bed. Have a great Tuesday everyone, and again I wish you all a very Happy 2011.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~ <br />
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Great drama! Great song! Hyun Bin!!!<br />
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Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-4338618515936075162010-12-30T15:34:00.002+09:002010-12-30T15:49:27.467+09:00Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011...As always hello my lovely readers:) I hope this last week of 2010 has been going smoothly for you, and with many moments of happiness and reflection.<br />
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Right now I'm chilling in my apartment after the third day of winter camp listening to music and relaxing before I pack for my first ever ski trip. Living in AZ you don't really ever get a chance to do this, so I wanted to give it a go. I don't really like the snow but it should be a nice way to spend New Year's weekend with my friends. I head out tomorrow afternoon. I can't remember the name of the place but it is supposed to be one of the nicest ski resorts in SK. I didn't help with the planning, so I'm just going with the flow and we shall see how things turn out. I'm just worried about how cold it's going to be. I don't want to bring too much or too little. I just want to stay warm:)! Eh, I'm sure it will be fine. If it gets to be too cold I will just relax in the hostel.<br />
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So since my last post, I spent Christmas in Itaewon, and started my first week of winter camp. So far so very good. The kids have been great, good attendance and attitudes, and since this is an art themed camp we have lots of creativity and fun for the kids to enjoy. Tomorrow is probably the highlight of all three weeks. We are making chocolate chip cookies, and spending the class decorating and of course eating them:). As for Christmas it was in one word, weird. It was a very bittersweet Christmas. I went with friends for the Rocky Mountain Tavern Christmas buffet, which was okay but it was just weird not being at home eating with my family. <br />
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I'm thankful for my friends though, because it was a lot less lonely and sad with them. After the buffet we grabbed dessert at Dunkin Donuts, made a side stop to a bar and Taco Bell, and ended the night with some Norebang. All in all a weird but good Christmas day. I got home around 1 AM and spent all night calling my family and friends back home to wish them a very Merry Christmas. At this point I am soooooo excited to go home and see all of them. To catch up with their lives and see all the kids people have been having. So many babies to hug and spoil when I get home. I just cannot wait to see everyone. Its been too long, and the time with them will be bittersweet because it won't be long enough, but at least it will be something. I need to start making a list of all the thing to do, eat, and buy while I'm home. I'm dying for my grandma's cooking. She makes all my favorite foods so well. I cannot wait to devour them.<br />
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<u><i><b>Goodbye 2010: Thank You For The Wonderful Memories </b></i></u><br />
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Alright, so on to 2010, all in all 2010 has been a year of transformation and growth for me. Like a seed that is planted and grows into a flower. I feel like I finally found my season to bloom. Haha, I'm so cheesy right! I've changed and grown is so many ways and each of them makes me proud. I've made some of my dreams come true, created new ones, and achieved ones I never even knew I wanted. All because I chose to come to South Korea and start a new chapter here, but more than that I started to choose the life I wanted to live. I came to Korean on February 26, 2010 and in less than two months I will have been here for a year. The beginning of 2010 was hard for me because of my health, but as it comes to an end I am so thankful that I am all better and healthy. I remember sitting at home on December 31, 2010 dreaming of being here, and now that precious dream is my living reality. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm thankful. I'm full of joy and gratitude for everything and everyone that got me here, that helped me grow.<br />
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My motto for 2009 was "finding the beauty in the breakdown". My motto for 2010 was/is "no resolutions, just (positive) change." I will carry that motto into my 2011. I think resolutions just set you up for failure. Instead of making resolutions I'll break I just decided in my heart to take small steps to create the changes I wanted in my life. No details. No time limits. Just the willpower and hope for change. 2010 was the year I began to live and understand what it means to live the life I imagine. The one I look forward to everyday. The one of my choosing. These are the snippets of the things I hoped for in 2010...<br />
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<blockquote><b><i>I want 2010 to be a year for me. A year of positive change, new journeys, and lots of positive self-discovery. I want 2010 to be a year of liberation from my scars, burdens, fears, and self-criticism. I want 2010 to be a year for me to transform, find, and create myself into the person I was always supposed to be. I don’t want to limit who I am, where I can go, or what I can do anymore. I want to take a risk and see what happens. I want to find the strength to always stay true to myself, and know there is nothing wrong with just being me. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>2010 to me is a year full of closure, discover, opportunities, God, liberation, transition, freedom, travel, growth, promises, hope, dreams, goals, love, positive change, newness, exploration…and so many other things. It’s time for this flower to finally bloom and take root in this world. I want people to know me as I am, not as they want me to be. I want to be seen and to see the reality not the selectivity of the world. I want to laugh, love, dream, hope, fight, discover, grow, learn, fail, triumph, and find pieces of my puzzle in each experience, friendship, loss, opportunity, memory, and person I come across.</i></b></blockquote><br />
As I look back on the things I wrote in my journal for 2010 I smile to myself, happy that I stepped outside of my box, out of my comforts, and tried. There is so much beauty in the act of trying. Whether we succeed or fail we can say we tried. We gave it the best we could in that moments, and that counts for a whole lot more than doing nothing. I've still got many things I want to try, but I acknowledge all the things I've tried so far. Those small steps we take are what gets us to the bigger ones. <br />
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<u><i><b>Hello 2011: Keep Living The Life I've Imagined:)</b></i></u> <br />
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In this new year all I ask of myself is to keep that same attitude, that same courage and will power to try, to risk, to discover. I want to keep making my dreams into my reality. I want to keep exploring and creating who I am. I think we forget that the answer to who we are is a dynamic one. We are constantly transforming, growing, changing, redefining who we are, and we should do that. It's okay not to have a definite answer to an indefinite question. Who I am is always going to have a different answer, and I'm excited to see what gets added or subtracted as more chapters of my life come to pass.<br />
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In this new chapter I'll be spending another year in Seoul. I am excited and optimistic about staying for another year. To some it may come as a surprise, but even before I stepped foot in Seoul I knew that I wanted to stay for two years. To give myself these two years to immerse myself into life here and see where it takes me. I've done a lot of things in this past year and yet not enough. There is still so much to see, to enjoy, to taste and even with another year I know it will not be enough, but it will still be something.<br />
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I don't have any lofty goals or big plans for 2011. I look forward to turning 24, to exploring more, to having my brother and sister here in August, and being happy inside out. I look forward to many firsts, to more beginnings and endings. I look forward to it all, and can only hope that I'll greet 2012. If I can wake up everyday and smile, laugh, give, enjoy my life and the people in it then I am already so very lucky.<br />
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<u><i><b>My New Year's Wish For You...</b></i></u><br />
Whatever it is you want to do, wherever it is you want to go, whoever it is you are waiting for I hope 2011 brings you to it. I hope that you stay healthy, happy, and loved each and every day. Let it be a year of beauty, joy, peace, lots of opportunities, and endless laughter. I really hope it is a wonderful chapter in your story.<br />
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Lastly, I just wanted to say thank you so very much for following my story in 2010. However short or long you've been on this journey with me it is my sincere hope to have you along for the next chapter in 2011.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
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I'd like to leave you with this song by one of my favorite bands. Pay attention to the lyrics, and I hope it inspires you for 2011<br />
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<u><i><b>Paper Route "Sing You To Sleep"</b></i></u><br />
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"Each new year brings hope and meaning..."<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>To dream anything that you want to dream. That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed.</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>-Bernard Edmonds</b></i><strong>-</strong> </div>Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-66911944462145510402010-12-24T12:00:00.001+09:002010-12-24T12:01:49.789+09:00Imprints & InkingsHappy Friday lovely readers!!!<br />
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To those who are already on the 24th, HAPPY Christmas Eve to you. I hope you'll be spending the day with loved ones, good food, and an endless flow of laughter.<br />
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The shades are up in my classroom, and the sun is peeking in lighting up the place, casting shadow puppets along the surfaces, and just making me smile because although it is very cold outside it is also really beautiful outside. I can't help but smile at that. The sky is clear, the sun is warm, and I'm very much in the holiday spirit. I gave my co-teachers small Christmas presents and made them both Christmas cards. The smiles and looks of pleasant surprise was the icing on a very delicious cupcake. <br />
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I love giving presents. I spend a lot of time choosing what to give or make for them, but when they recieve it and they enjoy it, that makes it soooo worth it. I've got presents for my lovely people back home who I will see in January, and I look forward to giving it to you all. I will be going home in about 3 weeks and the excitement is bubbling up inside of me. Although my plane ticket hasn't been purchased yet, and I've got 3 weeks of camp to do, everything feels great, and I know it will all turn out amazing.<br />
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I cannot wait to go home. I'm crossing my fingers we get to leave early since the kids have already gone home. One of my students gave me a really sweet handmade Christmas card yesterday telling me how she loves and respects me, and that even though she'll go on to be a 7th grader she won't forget me and will miss me. I gave her a big hug of appreciation. She totally made my day so bright because it was really unexpected and I could see how much effort and care she put into it. I was talking to my sister on the phone about it, and she said to me "you see, you never seem to realize how much of a difference you make in people's lives" and it just made me think a lot about recognizing my importance and my impact on the people around me both in small and big ways. To take the time to notice and nurture those relationships.<br />
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I'm looking forward to this Christmas weekend. I'm really hoping we'll get snow here. This is the one time I actually want it to snow. I haven't had a white Christmas in ten years, and it would be nice to see one here in Korea. So for my Christmas wish I hope it snows and I get to have a white Christmas. I'm going to cook myself a fabulous dinnner and dessert, watch my favorite X-mas movies; Love Actually, The Family Stone, and The Holiday, and listen to Christmas tunes tonight. Then tomorrow, watch more movies, and have a Christmas dinner with friends in Itaewon and see where the night takes me.<br />
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This is my first Christmas away from my mom and the rest of my family, but I am doing my best not to get homesick and just enjoy the holidays with the wonderful people around me. I'm going to try and spread some holiday cheer wherever I go. I've never been a huge Christmas person, but I do love the idea of giving and just the kindness of the holiday season.<br />
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Two years ago I wrote this...<br />
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<blockquote><em><strong>In seven minutes it will be Christmas Day 2008... Let's hope and pray that in Christmas 2010, you will be surrounded by people you love and who love you. That you will be happy and fulfilled with what you are doing, and that you will have found the answer to the question of your life...</strong></em></blockquote><br />
I think my younger self would be proud of me! I'm enjoying my life here, I've got a great group of friends both here and back home, and I'm finding that there is no one answer or one questions to my life. My life is a series of answers and questions that change as I travel farther down this road called Life. There is this happiness bubbling inside of me on the brink of spilling out and splashing all over. I'm excited for what my future holds. <br />
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Wishing you all a very...<br />
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Merry Christmas!!! Happy Hanukkah!!! Happy Kwanzaa!!! Happy Holidays!!! Happy Everything!!!!<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
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My favorite Christmas song)<br />
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All the Christmas songs sung by Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra are also really wonderful. <br />
Be healthy and happy this holiday season!!!Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-30321771449846230242010-12-21T10:25:00.003+09:002010-12-21T10:44:11.738+09:00What Comes Next?<blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><em>If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next… Don’t. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness. Don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present - each moment as it comes - because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart, where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again… </em></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><em>~Julia Brown, Everwood~</em></strong></div></blockquote><br />
In my last blog my friend asked me "what do you want to do next?" I've been asking myself the same question but I still don't have a definite answer. At first that worried me, it worried me a lot because for most of my life I'd been the girl with THE plan(s). I had my life mapped out years into the future, and for most of my life I followed the directions I'd laid out for myself without ever taking a detour. Then I got to college, and my plans started to unravel. I started to unravel and even though it felt like all I knew was disappearing in hindsight it was/is the best thing that ever happened to me so far. You have to lose yourself to find yourself, and sometimes losing yourself helps you create who you want to be.<br />
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It's hard to let uncertainty take the reigns on my life, but life really is full of so much uncertainty no matter how much we know or think we know. We can make all the plans in the world, but life is a maze of roads and sometimes all the plans you have just get tangled up and so do you. I definitely worry about what comes next, but I try not to let it paralyze me because I have that hope and faith that whatever does come next will be right for me. I've got little bits and pieces of things I'd like to do, places I'd like to go, things I'd like to see after my time in Korea comes to an end, but for now the immediate what comes next is spending time with my family and friends back home, then settling in for another year here. Grad school is taking up a lot of space in my mind, so I want to start looking into Masters programs. I've been thinking a lot about doing one for couseling and for teaching if that would be possible. I think the best thing is to talk to a lot of people in the areas I'm interested in, do my research, and then decide on what feels right for me. My future isn't set in stone, it's created by all the choices I make in my present. I'm trying to make the right choices for me, that will lead me to a road that takes me to the future I want for myself.<br />
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The other day my co asked me if I didn't think I'd change my mind and do something else. There is always the possibility of change, but I really feel like I've finally found what I've been looking for as far as my career goals go. I never would have seen myself working as a counselor, but the funny thing is I've been walking down that path for a long time now and I didn't realize it. I've always been the happiest coaching, mentoring and working with youth. I believe being in a job that lets me do that on a daily basis would be amazing. I've got a really big dream for far into the future when it comes to working with youth, and these are the stepping stones to lead me closer to making my dream my reality. I always remind myself to follow my heart and live the life I've imagined. To imagine it up as I go, and create my own path. I've spent too much time trying to live up to other's expectations, trying to mold myself into someone I'll never be happy as. There will be people who don't understand or who feel disappointed in me, but at the end of the day what really matters is how I see myself. How I see my life. What matters is if I like it, if I love it, if I'm happy in it.<br />
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Up until college I had such a solid grasp of my life, and sometimes now I feel lost because I'm not sure what direction I want to go, but I know where I want to end up. There are many paths/roads that can lead me there and that is both a blessings and a curse. Some are shorter, some longer. Some are smooth, some are bumpy and riddled with potholes. The thing is I won't know what lies ahead until I reach that point in my journey. I've just got to hold onto my hope and trust that no matter how chaotic things get, it will be as it should in the end, it will be all I've hoped for. I'll be living as I've imagined myself, and if I'm really lucky it will be even better than I imagined.<br />
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So to answer her question, what comes next? I'm making it up as I go. I've got goals and dreams inked out but no permanent plan on how I'll reach them. My plans change as I do, as life does. I'm trying to do the things I love, be open to detours, and remember to take happiness with me wherever I go.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~<br />
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<blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>We don't need any roads</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong></strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>Put your feet on the ground</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>And forget what you know</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>Don't make it down<br />
Make it up as you go...</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>I can't tell you what's best</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>I don't know what comes next</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>All I know is that I don't know anything</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>All I got is today, and I prefer it that way</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>Make a plan, but I know it's gonna change</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>And that's okay </strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>~Plain White T's~</strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9XBbYDwc-iw?fs=1&hl=ko_KR"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9XBbYDwc-iw?fs=1&hl=ko_KR" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></strong></em></div><br />
I heard this song yesterday, and it resonated with my currently wandering soul. Maybe it will do the same with you...Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5057735579751129134.post-69909997891589773882010-12-16T16:39:00.001+09:002010-12-16T16:40:24.452+09:00Drifting ThoughtsAs I sat down to eat my lunch I realized it's been almost one year since I set off on this journey. I'm doing things I only dreamed about, going to places I always talked about, conquering fears that held me back, and making my wishes come true.<br />
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I smiled to myself, feeling proud of what I've accomplished so far. I'm looking forward to the discoveries and adventures that will comes next.<br />
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This is what living means.<br />
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Be blessed,<br />
~Lola O.~Lola O.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00362529946061814699noreply@blogger.com1