I feel like I have been doing just that since August when I was diagnosed with a duodenal ulcer the day before I was supposed to leave for Seoul.
Today I had a colonoscopy done, and like last time I expected to get a clean bill of health. I expected to hear that everything was fine and that I would move on with my life. But, it seems I will be walking on egg shells for another two weeks.
My GI doctor found an abnormal amount of lumps in my Terminal Ileum and so they did a Biopsy and I have two weeks of excruciating waiting before I find out if A) Its nothing but my body being abnormal B) Crohn's Disease, or C) Lymphoma. I am trying to remain calm, but in all honesty I am worried. All I can think is WTH is going on, this cannot be happening to me.
It's like my body is turning into my enemy and new issues just keep popping up. I mean I have my whole life ahead of me, how can I have some kind of sickness inside of me. All I could think about as the GI doctor was explaining the possible situations was please don't let anything be wrong, please don't let anything keep me from going to Seoul in February. Please, don't let me be sick!
I think I need to stop having expectations when I go to the GI doctor, because every time I end up leaving with an unwanted surprise. I just cannot imagine having B or C. I'm 22 years old, how can I end up like that. I just cannot get my mind out of these thoughts...today has been a long and crappy day!
It's like I am holding my breathe until I get a call with the results of my biopsy. I will be holding my breathe for the next two weeks, and by God's grace it will only be good news I get. I just can't wrap my mind around this situation. I couldn't believe what happened to me in August, and I cannot deal with anymore unexpected and unwanted surprises in my life.
Life is really turning out to be very unpredictable. I never thought I would be in this kind of situation, and I am just praying that I am just abnormal and that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm scared, and I don't want to scare my family anymore than I have already since August. I just needed to get my thoughts out. So keep me in your prayers and lets hope for good news in two weeks.
Be Blessed,
~Lola O.~
Today I had a colonoscopy done, and like last time I expected to get a clean bill of health. I expected to hear that everything was fine and that I would move on with my life. But, it seems I will be walking on egg shells for another two weeks.
My GI doctor found an abnormal amount of lumps in my Terminal Ileum and so they did a Biopsy and I have two weeks of excruciating waiting before I find out if A) Its nothing but my body being abnormal B) Crohn's Disease, or C) Lymphoma. I am trying to remain calm, but in all honesty I am worried. All I can think is WTH is going on, this cannot be happening to me.
It's like my body is turning into my enemy and new issues just keep popping up. I mean I have my whole life ahead of me, how can I have some kind of sickness inside of me. All I could think about as the GI doctor was explaining the possible situations was please don't let anything be wrong, please don't let anything keep me from going to Seoul in February. Please, don't let me be sick!
I think I need to stop having expectations when I go to the GI doctor, because every time I end up leaving with an unwanted surprise. I just cannot imagine having B or C. I'm 22 years old, how can I end up like that. I just cannot get my mind out of these thoughts...today has been a long and crappy day!
It's like I am holding my breathe until I get a call with the results of my biopsy. I will be holding my breathe for the next two weeks, and by God's grace it will only be good news I get. I just can't wrap my mind around this situation. I couldn't believe what happened to me in August, and I cannot deal with anymore unexpected and unwanted surprises in my life.
Life is really turning out to be very unpredictable. I never thought I would be in this kind of situation, and I am just praying that I am just abnormal and that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm scared, and I don't want to scare my family anymore than I have already since August. I just needed to get my thoughts out. So keep me in your prayers and lets hope for good news in two weeks.
Be Blessed,
~Lola O.~
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