So I did the small bowel x-ray today. I had to drink this really gross version of a vanilla milkshake, it was thick and chalky, and then I had to walk around for 20 minutes while it went through my system and then they would take x-rays to see how far it was gone through my system. Overall, it took about 2 hours, which was great since originally they told me I would have to be there for 4 hours.

As I was getting the x-rays done and being poked by the technician I just kept thinking, "God, please let this be the last time I have to do anymore tests!" It's been nothing but doctors and medication for the past six months and I am just crossing my fingers that this is the end and I am finally moving past all this stuff. The Radiologist doctor said everything was looking great so far, and then he did the last set of x-rays and told me to call my doctor next week for the complete results. I am feeling optimistic about it, and am sure there won't be any unexpected or unwanted surprises this time around. I am still anemic, so I will keep taking my iron supplements and  doing regular blood tests while in Seoul. I will also have to take Prilosec for one year, and do check-ups to make sure everything is okay. Basically I have to monitor myself for another year, and stay away from aspirin (forever) and caffeine (for the most part).

I've been feeling really good these past weeks! I'm eating well. I have no stomach pains, and I just have a lot more energy. I feel like the twenty two year old young woman I am, and it is a great feeling. In the past six months I have learned not to take my health for granted, and it has made me very aware of how my body is doing. I make sure to do what I need to do to be healthy and have energy so I don't end up in a hospital again.

With fourteen days left it feels very surreal, like I have done this before (which I have), but I am in a different mindset this time around. I feel different, more ready this time around. I'm less anxious and worried than when I was supposed to leave in August. I feel a lot more grown up and sure of what I am doing. I'm super excited to take this challenge on and see what happens along the way. My last hurdle is packing. I have to figure out what else I can take out that I haven't already taken out to make each luggage 70 lbs. Just looking at them makes me exhausted so maybe I will wait a day or two before I try again.

I'm smiling in anticipation of finally beginning my journey in Seoul and just growing through each experience, interaction, failure, and triumph. I just want to soak everything in, and learn as much as possible about the language, culture, people, and me. Time seems to be flying by me these days and I know the 25th will be here in the blink of a  eye, but instead of fear or worry I feel excitement and happiness, and I know that no matter what I can do this, I will do this, and it will be a beautiful year in Seoul.

Be Blessed,
~Lola O.~

After many packing failures I am almost done. I just need to pack my carry-on and my backpack. I just hope everything fits. I am taking 3 luggages. The sad thing is that even those 3 luggages don't seem to be enough. My wonderful mom is going to ship me the other things I am not taking with me in a care package. Honestly, I think it is the leaving it all behind part that is so hard to do. I have no idea when/if I will come home during that year. I just hope that I don't have any issues at the airport aside from paying excess luggage. I don't want a repeat of lost luggages and nonsense like that. Since I am taking two flights I am just hoping that it all goes directly to Seoul with no problems. Well no matter what happens I will overcome it and not let it overcome it.

My favorite phrase to tell myself these days is "just breathe." I tend to get stressed easily when I am about to go into the unknown but I know that I am going to be okay...I have to be...I will be. I am just really thankful for all of the people supporting ,encouraging, and believing in me. It makes me feel like I am taking all that positive energy with me to Seoul.

I have done a lot of research about South Korea and life there, hence all the links:) but even then I don't really know anything. It really is all about first hand experiences because every person and situation is not exactly the same. I feel pretty surreal these days. My mind just doesn't seem to fully comprehend what I am about to embark on. I feel like I am going through the motions of getting ready to go but it won't really hit me until I am on that plane up in the sky unable to turn around and change my mind. I am not planning to change my mind, and no matter what I won't have any regrets but everyday I am thinking OMG what am I doing.

I am smiling/laughing writing that last sentence. Last night while everyone was sleeping I just sat on the couch thinking about my life up to this point and wondering what is going to happen next. I have dreams, wants, and expectations for myself and my time in Korea but who knows what the reality is going to be. The most important thing for me is having an open-mind, staying true to myself, and surrounding myself with positive people who want to make the most out of their time in South Korea...that doesn't mean getting plastered on Soju every night. I want to do a lot of exploring like going to Jeju, Temples, and things that teach me about Korean Culture. I would really love to take a Korean cooking class and learn how to make some yummy dishes.

I have so many thoughts running in my head right now. I am looking forward to meeting all the other SMOE hires and hopefully finding some good friends to hang out with down there. I am going to miss my family and friends soooooo much. College prepared me for the separation, but since my college was only two hours away by car it wasn't too far. Talking on the phone, using Skype, and etc won't take away how much I am going to miss having them so close to me. I am really going to miss my mom. She is my best friend, and the only parent I have known so it is going to be hard not having her there to make everything better.

I am going to miss my grandma's delicious cooking and our late night conversations about family, life, and everything in between. My grandma has so much wisdom in her and it is great being able to be her granddaughter. I am going to miss my little bro and my big sis. We are the three musketeers and I am wishing them success and happiness in school, life, and everything else. I am going to miss my church family and my dearest friends. They have always supported and stood by me and I am thankful and blessed for all the love they have given me. Arizona has been my home for almost ten years and I am going to miss it, even the crazy heat. I am sad I am going to missing out on things here while being in South Korea but I know that we can't stay sheltered forever.

I guess the time to grow up has caught up to me. It's time for Lola to spread her wings and fly(so cheesy but true ^___^). Lets see what the next chapter brings!

I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I absolutely love this song and those two lines pretty much sums up how I am currently feeling. We will see what happens after the honeymoon phase wears off and reality sinks in...:)

Be Blessed,
~Lola O.~

Technically it is Monday morning but I want to talk about how blessed I felt on Sunday. I love going to church and the best part of it for me is the praise and worship part. Being someone who loves music like a second skin I just feel very close to God when I hear the praise and worship songs. I really needed to feel that closeness because I was feeling so overwhelmed and stressed for the past few days.

I think the feeling of being overwhelmed was way past due since I have been so calm the whole summer about moving to Korea. At church there was this song that the choir sang that made me feel like God was speaking to me through the lyrics and letting me know that I am not in this alone. I knew that, but I think I needed that reminder of His presence in my life.

When I decided to take this leap and go to South Korea to teach I did it with the intention of giving myself time and challenges to grow into the woman I want to be. I think a person cannot grow if everything is the same and there are no challenges that stretch your mind, heart, and soul into different directions. I want to be stretched, tested, and taught in my year in Korea. I also want to do the same by my students. Not only to teach them English but to also teach them about diversity and my own dual culture as a Nigerian-American.

I think that life is a journey and we have different paths that we can take based on the choices we make, the people we meet, the opportunities that come our way, and the plans God has for us. I don't want to walk down a static path. No, I want to walk down a dynamic path and do different things. I think I need this year to see who I am and who I can be. I guess I want to know what I am capable of us. I want to push past my limits and the boundaries of this world and take flight.

I don't want to be standing on the earth when I can be soaring through the clouds. I want to let my light shine brightly and to know that I can do anything I put my mind to. To know that I am strong, smart, and capable. I know I am those things, but I want to expand and grow in those three areas. I want to see and learn about more of this world we live in. I hope and pray that this is just the beginning of my adventure.

I just need to remember the power of positive thoughts. You can accomplish so much more if you don't let yourself or other people bring you down with their negativity. Today I remembered to take it easy and more importantly to have fun and enjoy myself. This is something I wanted to do, I am blessed to be able to do it, so instead of sweating the details I need to take in the big picture.

So no more ranting, stressing, or freaking out this last week....and no more blog entries about those things!:) I am going to get everything done in time. I am going to enjoy my friends and family before I leave. I am going to have fun packing and preparing to leave. I am going to smile and laugh as much as possible. I am going to think, be, and live positively. I am going to challenge myself to try new things, explore different places, and stretch my mind. I am going to remember to stray true to myself and just believe that I can do this.

My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I reflect on this verse daily because there is such a simple truth to it. The Lord did not being me or you to this world to suffer. No He created us to live happily, to achieve great things, and to love and be loved. This verse always makes me feel better. I guess my message in this post is it is going to be okay. For those leaving what they know for something new you are going to do great things because you can. You have worked hard to get to that point, so don't stand at the edge of the bridge. Instead, take that first step and the others will follow.

I feel truly blessed for the friends and family I have and the prayers and wishes they have sent my way. I feel abundantly encouraged and supported by you all. My heart and spirit is uplifted and I'm glad to have you all on this journey with me.

I feel sooooo much better and I am going to remember that I am doing this for a reason and I am not going to let any situation or person bring me down including myself.

This song is by one of my favorite Christian artists and I consider it to be a wonderful music pick me up.



Be Blessed,
~Lola O.~

That picture pretty much describes how I am feeling right now about leaving for Korea in SIX days. I am a bundle of nerves and nervous energy and if I end up exploding at some people I am not myself right now.

Start of Mini-Rant Session:
Honestly I don't know why I thought packing for Korea would end up being an easy task. I think I might have been a little insane when I had that thought. I mean knowing me I should have had warning that this would not go smoothly. So I decided in the last entry that I was going to bring 3 luggages instead of two. Well, the third luggage was a smaller one but after trying to pack my supplies into it and not being able to zip it up I decided to go for one that is the same size as the other two. I have the Samsonite 30 inch Mobile Spinners and although I am probably bringing too much stuff I think I would rather be comfortable than sorry. I am going to do packing attempt 2.5 in a bit and see how that goes. With six days left it feels like time is speeding up and working against me.

END of Rant:)

I am trying to remember to breathe, have fun, and just take it one step at a time. I know God will make my path smooth over the next year and that any obstacles that come my way will not be ones I cannot overcome. Today I just laid in bed and thought about the next year and why I am feeling so nervous. I think with all new things you can't help but wonder because no matter what you can never be prepared enough. I think my biggest fear is all the unknowns that I will have to take on one by one. I wonder if I am strong enough to really do this. However, I know if I didn't at least try I would regret it forever.

After praying and thinking I found some clarity and strength in myself. I just needed to tell myself it was going to be okay...I was/am going to be okay. I kind of gave myself a little pep talk to decrease my stress level. I think all I can do it try, and keep trying when/if I fall. I want to try and finish all this packing stuff latest Wednesday so I can spend Thursday hanging out with my family and friends and just relaxing.

I don't think I will be able to sleep Thursday night...I never can fall asleep the night before a big event and this is a really big event for me! I am leaving my house at 6:30 AM on Friday to give myself time in case of any airport issues. I am praying to God I have none of those. I think I just need to take a break from all this Korea stuff and hang out with my family and friends to clear my mind.

I have been having a music pick me up session and this song really describes how I am feeling about going to Korea.



Keep me and my travels in your prayers!
~Lola O.~

With 7 days left before I leave I decided to stay up last night and try to pack all my stuff into 2 suitcases, 1 carry-on, and a backpack. That was a TOTAL FAILURE. Honestly, I decreased the amount of stuff I am bringing by a lot. You should see the amount of stuff in my closet that is not going. Even with all that, I could not fit everything into the 2 suitcases.

I was getting really stressed, and decided to take a nap at 4AM...all that effort for nothing. I woke up to see the nightmare was not over. Yes, it is my fault that I like my clothes, shoes, purses, and specific products. Believe me, I wish I did not have so much stuff, but I do and right now reminds me of trying to pack for college. People keep saying you don't really need all those clothes, and maybe...most likely they are right. BUT, I have never lived overseas for a whole year, I have no idea when I will come home, getting it shipped would cost just as much as excess luggage and take way longer, I am not a skinny person with small feet so most of the stuff in Korea will not fit me, and blah blah blah. The point is that I like variety in my wardrobe and I want to be comfortable in that one year instead of wishing I had brought this and that.

I like to be over prepared and cover all my bases. Okay, so my mom comes out of her room and sees the chaos that used to be the living room...and she just looks at me all sympathetically and my Grandma is in the kitchen and is like WOW, that is no small job, and I just close my eyes and sink into the couch feeling all defeated that my staying up all night was a total waste because I have too much stuff and...I don't even know what to say anymore.

I really didn't want to be the girl at orientation who brought a crap load of stuff but it seems I shall be the girl with three suitcases because it seems two is not going to cut it. I wish I was one of those girls who could pack up my life so easily but it seems I cannot. I think bringing a 3rd luggage is probably better than bringing two 100 lb luggages. I just keep visualizing myself as Renee Z in the movie New In Town trying to push all my luggages minus the stilettos through the airport. I just hope I don't make a total fool out of myself.

*Sigh*...so it seems I shall take 2 large suitcases and 1 medium suitcase with my backpack and carry-on. At least I will be comfortable for the next year. I think my nerves are rattled since time seems to be speeding up on me. I think I just need to make a new game plan and start packing attempt 2 tonight and continue to minimize the stuff I am bringing.

I need to find a lamp that contains a packing genie to grant me some wishes. I just hope there is a kind and strong person at orientation to help me with my luggages.

I know I am sick of me too...

Ciao
~Lola O.

Anyone that knows me might say I have a lot of clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry....the list goes on. I tend to think they exaggerate. I mean I really don't have that much stuff, it is just that my closet should be bigger (think Clueless). If I had a bigger closet then there would be no problems.

Ever since I decided to go to Korea I knew that packing would be the hardest and crappiest part of the whole process. Trying to fit my stuff i.e. my life into 2 suitcases, a carry-on, and a "purse" (more like another carry-on) for a whole year is hard. It is really, really, really (feel me yet..lol) hard to do.

I already knew I would not be able to do 50lbs...that is just asking too much of me but I am really trying to stick to 70lbs luggages and pay whatever excess baggage fees Asiana charges me. Some might say do you really need to bring all this stuff? Yeah, I do..it is all about comfort and my stuff makes me comfortable.

Believe me I have let go of quite a bit of stuff already...there are two storage containers in my closet full of things I am not bringing with me. SO it is not like I am not trying to bring less, but it is more like I don't think I can bring anything less that what I have decided are the essentials.

Plus, I am not shaped like a Korean woman so it would be hard to find clothes/shoes there. That is why I don't plan on buying any clothes there...only jewelry. I think I am starting to sound like that woman from Confessions A Shopaholic but I don't think I am that bad when it comes to shopping.

A year is a long time, and who knows when I am going to be coming back to the states. My goal is to not go over 70lbs so we will see how that goes. Hopefully the people at the airport have some sympathy for me and waive the fee. A girl can hope.

Yes, I just spend a whole blog entry to justify my decision. Wish me luck ^___^ !!!!

Here is one of my favorite songs by Clazziquai.


Best,
~Lola O.~

I am not a patient person at all. To say I was one would be an utter lie. So this whole waiting process to go to Seoul is driving me nuts. I hate waiting because it leaves too much room for thinking, analyzing, and questioning.

Ever since I graduated I have had plenty of time to think about my decision to go to Seoul to teach and the fear is starting to crawl in. I keep thinking what the heck am I doing and wondering if this is the right decision. Other times I have a deep belief that I am doing what I need to do to grow into my own person. I know that this might not be what my family wants for me, but I know that you cannot live your life through the eyes of others even if they are your loved ones.

I have to pursue my own happiness, and this is something I have been wanting to do for a while now. Yes, I am scared, and yes I don't know if this is the right decision...but isn't the point to get there and find out? You are never going to be completely sure about it but you have to trust yourself and take a risk. Isn't that what living is all about! I keep trying to tell myself not to rush anything and to enjoy my time in the states because although it feels like time is passing slowly in a matter of 2 months my whole world is going to change hopefully for the better.

I just feel kind of bored and spend my days researching life in Korea, getting everything together,and dreading the idea of packing all my stuff into 2 suitcases. I like clothes and shoes and purses and I like all of my stuff so packing is going to be a pain in the butt! I keep telling myself things will all work out and you know what it always does.

I am a worrier but I know that God always comes through for me! I sent my documents to Korea Connections yesterday and it cost me $60. Getting things ready to go to Korea is not cheap so prepare for all the little fees that add up when you are making the decision to come to South Korea. I just want things to get rolling. I want to get my visa so I can buy my plane tickets, and make sure I get to see my sister in Florida before I leave. I want to buy all the things I think I will need there.

I just want it to feel more real. I keep thinking what if something goes wrong and I end up not leaving August 21...that is a scary thought. I am excited and nervous to do this but even so I am taking a deep breathe and doing it. Life is supposed to be about experiences, mistakes, and growth and I feel like I am a late bloomer in all those areas. Playing it safe leaves me wanting more and I hope that I have the strength to do this and do it well.

May the Lord guide my way and make things smooth for me. I just want it to be August already!

Best,
~Lola O.~