Lola O.
I am not a patient person at all. To say I was one would be an utter lie. So this whole waiting process to go to Seoul is driving me nuts. I hate waiting because it leaves too much room for thinking, analyzing, and questioning.

Ever since I graduated I have had plenty of time to think about my decision to go to Seoul to teach and the fear is starting to crawl in. I keep thinking what the heck am I doing and wondering if this is the right decision. Other times I have a deep belief that I am doing what I need to do to grow into my own person. I know that this might not be what my family wants for me, but I know that you cannot live your life through the eyes of others even if they are your loved ones.

I have to pursue my own happiness, and this is something I have been wanting to do for a while now. Yes, I am scared, and yes I don't know if this is the right decision...but isn't the point to get there and find out? You are never going to be completely sure about it but you have to trust yourself and take a risk. Isn't that what living is all about! I keep trying to tell myself not to rush anything and to enjoy my time in the states because although it feels like time is passing slowly in a matter of 2 months my whole world is going to change hopefully for the better.

I just feel kind of bored and spend my days researching life in Korea, getting everything together,and dreading the idea of packing all my stuff into 2 suitcases. I like clothes and shoes and purses and I like all of my stuff so packing is going to be a pain in the butt! I keep telling myself things will all work out and you know what it always does.

I am a worrier but I know that God always comes through for me! I sent my documents to Korea Connections yesterday and it cost me $60. Getting things ready to go to Korea is not cheap so prepare for all the little fees that add up when you are making the decision to come to South Korea. I just want things to get rolling. I want to get my visa so I can buy my plane tickets, and make sure I get to see my sister in Florida before I leave. I want to buy all the things I think I will need there.

I just want it to feel more real. I keep thinking what if something goes wrong and I end up not leaving August 21...that is a scary thought. I am excited and nervous to do this but even so I am taking a deep breathe and doing it. Life is supposed to be about experiences, mistakes, and growth and I feel like I am a late bloomer in all those areas. Playing it safe leaves me wanting more and I hope that I have the strength to do this and do it well.

May the Lord guide my way and make things smooth for me. I just want it to be August already!

~Lola O.~
6 Responses
  1. hey! i noticed you were following my blog and just wanted to stop by! I know what you mean about waiting... it definitely is hard! it makes you feel like it's never going to happen...but as soon as you get a departure date...well you'll be so relieved and then realize that you dont have much time! lol! i also know what you mean about reading others experiences... it gets tiring cause I want to be the one there doing i usually now just go through pictures! haha we should get together in seoul when you arrive! where are you going to be located? e-mail me anytime!! :D

  2. yeah my friend left a month before me too! lol! she's doing her orientation right! what organization are you doing to be going with? hang in there! you dont have much longer to go...even if it does seem like'll fly by quick!

  3. that's how i'm feeling now! lol! i noticed your blog on korean dramas! have you watched Boys Before Flowers ('s! I loved it! I also watch a ton of shows and movies here at this website: which has english subtitles and everything! ^_^.

  4. yeah my email address is on my profile! :)

  5. Your wishlist has a few things Seoul has.

    Arizona Green Tea...yes...seen them at Subway sandwich shops.

    Junk food..that abounds here..

    wait maybe your wishlist is general for life. well don't worry then :)

  6. Lola O. Says:

    If Seoul has my Arizona Green Tea then I am going to do just fine:) wish list is in the making. I want my family to send me good care packages when I am there!