* Happy Dance*

I've been kind of moody lately, and so today I took a me, myself, and I day. I went and saw When In Rome, it was nothing special but it definitely was cheesy enough to lighten up my mood. I got some cavity inducing goodies and pizza from my favorite place to end the day with. Then, when I got home, I saw the express package on the dining table and it made me smile. It was my passport with the visa inside of it:).

I didn't go crazy with excitement, but it was just one of those happy moments we have in life. I don't know what my deal is but my excitement about going to Korea is of a very mellow kind these days. I don't go wild with excitement...it is more is a simmering kind of joy. Maybe, it is because I know what it is like when things don't go according to plan. Maybe this is my way of protecting myself from feeling the way I did in August.

I don't have the answer, I just know that this time around it feels different. I feel different; as if there is a certain bittersweet maturity this time around. Maybe, that is why I am waiting to buy my ticket till after I see my doctor next week. I just feel like I have to wait till after I see him to take that next step and make it all real and final. I guess maybe I'm a little scared things will get screwed up again that I am limiting my excitement. Who knows...

Well, I have my visa, I am 98% packed, and the last thing I have to do is buy my plane ticket to Seoul for this dream to become a reality. I am planning to leave the night of Feb.24th so I can get to Seoul the morning of Feb.26th. The time difference makes it feel like I am on this epic voyage, even though the journey is about 18 hours.

Can't really say I am looking forward to being on a plane for that long, but hopefully since I am leaving at night I will just sleep for most of it. We shall see...

Only 26 more days left before a new chapter in my life begins...I'm looking forward to it with a smile and an open-mind/heart.

Be Blessed,
~Lola O.~

I'm in a REALLY good mood right now. I woke up this morning, and when I was about to open my door I saw this fedex package (I guess my Grandma signed for it, and slipped it under my door). The funny part was that I had been talking to my sister about how the NOA package should be here by 10:30 AM, and while we were still talking I looked down and there it was. It was a nice way to start my day.

I filled out the visa application form and mailed it out this afternoon. So hopefully I will get my passport/visa no later than Saturday, and will book my flight next week. I'm smiling and laughing because five months ago I was so miserable wondering how I would get through six more months of waiting to leave for Seoul, but I made it through it, and these five months have been an unexpected blessing. I had more time with my family and friends, and I have grown and learned a lot about myself over the past five months. It wasn't easy, but I just feel like August wasn't my time to leave yet. There were still things I needed to do, experience, and learn for myself.

Next week is by God's grace my final checkup with my GI doctor before leaving for Seoul. I had to do some lab work today (waited almost an hour before they did the tests), so I will find out the results next week, and hopefully they will be much improved so I don't have to keep taking the Iron Glucose medication when I am in Seoul. I told myself 2010 is my year of GREAT health, and I am going to do my part to make that happen!

I'm pretty much all packed, since I never unpacked in the first place. All I have left in the month ahead is spending time with the important people in my life so we can have memories to make the year apart not seem as long. I am not anxious or nervous about going to Seoul this time around, because I just feel like a positive attitude and some serious determination will make things a lot easier on me than worrying about the details.

So, cheers to 31 more days left before I get on that plane and start my Seoul journey!!!

Be Blessed,
~Lola O.~

Last night my recruiter emailed me saying that my NOA package was on its way to me. He gave me the tracking number, and it looks like it will be here next Monday. It feels very surreal to be doing this process again. The excitement is there but it is a little tainted my memories of failure...lol

I guess it really wasn't a failure as much as I believe it wasn't the right time for me. I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason, and in the last five months I have grown up a little more each day and understand myself, my dreams, and my future a lot better now. So, I'm grateful for this extra time to sort myself and my life out so I can go to Seoul with a clean slate. I have no regrets or unfinished business left simmering here. I can leave knowing that everything I needed to take care of was taken care of. Everything I needed to say was said. It feels really good to leave with this feeling of peace inside of me.

In August, I had a lot of worries and doubts, but now I have strength and faith in myself. No matter what comes my way I can and will overcome it. I have that outlook and determination now. It is funny how you think you know yourself so well, and then life teaches you that you don't.

Now, I know myself better, and even the things I don't know will be discovered along the way as I travel on my own path. I don't know how to express the feeling of happiness I have towards myself these days. It feels like it took me this long to grow up and become my own person. Someone who follows her own path, and listens to her voice and not others. Maybe this is what it means to love oneself.

So it looks like I will apply for my visa next week, and hopefully get it by the end of the week as well. Then I can finally buy my plane ticket, and that would be the last thing to make this journey to Seoul concrete. I have about 34 more days here, and unlike in August I am very laid back about things, because I trust that everything will work out as it should so instead of worrying I have to just believe and do the best I can.

I am laughing and smiling as I write this because I feel so much more mature and sure about my life and where it is going. When I was 21 I was feeling very unsure of what the future held for me, but now I realize that the future is created with each present day. I/We don't have to have all the answers because sometimes you will discover them along the way.

So today I am one step closer to my journey to Seoul, and I thank all of you for supporting me.

AJA AJA Fighting!!!
~Lola O.~



Whenever I listen to this song, it reminds me of this point in my life. A point of beginnings and endings...

I am really learning that you just have to go with the flow and hope for the best. I was anxiously waiting to get my passport back from the Korean Consulate in LA and I had hoped it would come on Tuesday, so when it didn't show I was like okay they must not have mailed it yet. I paid $17.50 to overnight it so I was like it better get here on Wednesday at the latest.

Just as I decided to go about my day, the doorbell rings and my cousins are like the mailman is here for you. Previously, I had told them I was waiting for a super important package. So when it came they were as excited as me until they saw it was just my passport and said that was the super important package. If only they knew what getting my passport/visa meant...lol

Everyone was smiling and happy because I was so happy about it. I think the happier I am the harder it is for my mom. Just as it is becoming more real to me that I am going to Seoul, it is becoming more real to her that I am leaving. I am going to try and tone down my excitement because I know this is hard on her but she wants me to be happy.

Now everything feels real. That little visa stamp in my passport is my passage to Korea and I am very happy and excited for it. I just bought my plan tickets for $516 one-way which is not a bad deal since a few weeks ago they were around $700:)...I hope SMOE reimburses A.S.A.P once I get there.

With about 5 weeks left before I leave on August 21, 2009 time seems to be moving really fast now whereas last week I thought it was going so slow. I guess that is because I don't have to wait anymore. Everything is flowing nicely so now all I need to do is take care of things here, pack, and board that plane to Seoul.

Even with all the excitement there is still fear. I think it is fine to be scared, probably even smart because it keeps me from flying to high on Cloud 9 and makes me think about this clearly. This is a big step for me and I know it won't be easy, it won't always be fun, and I might end up regretting it. However, it will be exciting, it will lead to new discoveries of life, this world, and myself, and I will most likely end up loving it.

No matter what it is something I want to do and something I would regret not doing so I am going to move forward with an open-mind/heart and take things as they come.

So Korea get ready because I am coming soon...

Here is a mv from my favorite/the best member of BigBang. I love this song, the dancing, and the wonderful TaeYang. Enjoy!!!



Best,
~Lola O.~

Wow, now that things are coming together, it seems like time is against me. I just mailed my visa application to the Korean Consulate in Los Angeles so I am crossing my fingers that I get it back by Wednesday so I can book my ticket to Seoul and my ticket to visit my sister in Florida for a week in August. It looks like August 21st is K-Day:) so right now my top worries is getting my Residency Certificate in the mail and trying to pack my life up in two overweight suitcases, one carry on, and a backpack/purse.

If you know me I have a lot of clothes, shoes, purses, etc and I like them all so parting will be filled with sorrow. Alrighty, let me leave you with one of my all time favorite Korean songs by the wonderful Masta Wu! Every time I listen to this song it makes me feel like smiling.