I woke up this morning around seven and my stomach was in knots. Today, 8/20/2009 is my last day in Phoenix before I get on those two planes tomorrow to start something new and wonderful in Seoul. For some reason I just feel like giggling and dancing around the house at the thought of what is to come.I don't think there is one word or emotion that could encompass all that I am feeling right now. It still hasn't really sunk in that this is real. I am really going to do this.
I remember the first time I was talking about going to South Korea with my friend Flo and two years later I am doing it. It seems so unreal but at the same time so real.I am going to enjoy today with my wonderful family and tomorrow I am going to start forging my own path in this world and see where it takes me.
I think the hardest thing for me is going to be the separation from my family and friends. I won't have them around to make everything better. I think though, I need that independence. So that day by day I get to learn more and more about me, myself, and I.In South Korea, I will just be me, and that will be a first. I'm ready for the challenge. I know it will not be easy and that I am in for some shockers. but I look forward to what God sees in my future.
I look forward to making new friends, learning more Hangul, teaching my students, having my own place to live, and just being more of an adult.Thanks to all of you that have been supporting me and will continue to support me. You are blessings in my life. Keep me and my travels in your prayers and enjoy the ride with me!
After many packing failures I am almost done. I just need to pack my carry-on and my backpack. I just hope everything fits. I am taking 3 luggages. The sad thing is that even those 3 luggages don't seem to be enough. My wonderful mom is going to ship me the other things I am not taking with me in a care package. Honestly, I think it is the leaving it all behind part that is so hard to do. I have no idea when/if I will come home during that year. I just hope that I don't have any issues at the airport aside from paying excess luggage. I don't want a repeat of lost luggages and nonsense like that. Since I am taking two flights I am just hoping that it all goes directly to Seoul with no problems. Well no matter what happens I will overcome it and not let it overcome it.
My favorite phrase to tell myself these days is "just breathe." I tend to get stressed easily when I am about to go into the unknown but I know that I am going to be okay...I have to be...I will be. I am just really thankful for all of the people supporting ,encouraging, and believing in me. It makes me feel like I am taking all that positive energy with me to Seoul.
I have done a lot of research about South Korea and life there, hence all the links:) but even then I don't really know anything. It really is all about first hand experiences because every person and situation is not exactly the same. I feel pretty surreal these days. My mind just doesn't seem to fully comprehend what I am about to embark on. I feel like I am going through the motions of getting ready to go but it won't really hit me until I am on that plane up in the sky unable to turn around and change my mind. I am not planning to change my mind, and no matter what I won't have any regrets but everyday I am thinking OMG what am I doing.
I am smiling/laughing writing that last sentence. Last night while everyone was sleeping I just sat on the couch thinking about my life up to this point and wondering what is going to happen next. I have dreams, wants, and expectations for myself and my time in Korea but who knows what the reality is going to be. The most important thing for me is having an open-mind, staying true to myself, and surrounding myself with positive people who want to make the most out of their time in South Korea...that doesn't mean getting plastered on Soju every night. I want to do a lot of exploring like going to Jeju, Temples, and things that teach me about Korean Culture. I would really love to take a Korean cooking class and learn how to make some yummy dishes.
I have so many thoughts running in my head right now. I am looking forward to meeting all the other SMOE hires and hopefully finding some good friends to hang out with down there. I am going to miss my family and friends soooooo much. College prepared me for the separation, but since my college was only two hours away by car it wasn't too far. Talking on the phone, using Skype, and etc won't take away how much I am going to miss having them so close to me. I am really going to miss my mom. She is my best friend, and the only parent I have known so it is going to be hard not having her there to make everything better.
I am going to miss my grandma's delicious cooking and our late night conversations about family, life, and everything in between. My grandma has so much wisdom in her and it is great being able to be her granddaughter. I am going to miss my little bro and my big sis. We are the three musketeers and I am wishing them success and happiness in school, life, and everything else. I am going to miss my church family and my dearest friends. They have always supported and stood by me and I am thankful and blessed for all the love they have given me. Arizona has been my home for almost ten years and I am going to miss it, even the crazy heat. I am sad I am going to missing out on things here while being in South Korea but I know that we can't stay sheltered forever.
I guess the time to grow up has caught up to me. It's time for Lola to spread her wings and fly(so cheesy but true ^___^). Lets see what the next chapter brings!
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.
I absolutely love this song and those two lines pretty much sums up how I am currently feeling. We will see what happens after the honeymoon phase wears off and reality sinks in...:)
The Countdown till I leave for Korea has started! I have a month left before I leave and it feels like time is speeding up and I can hear this internal clock ticking away. It is exhilarating and scary at the same time. I think the plane ride to Seoul is going to be the longest one of my life both literally and figuratively.
I just hope I don't end up crying when I say bye to my mother or have some kind of panic attack at the airport where I start questioning my decision to do this. I just don't want to freak out...at least not in public!
My days seem to be spent reading up on everything I can possibly find in regards to life in Seoul and stuff about South Korea in general. This is the first time I am doing something like this and I am doing it alone for the most part. So it is a big step for me to get out of my comfort zone and like Nike says "Just do it." As far as I know we only get one life, one chance to do the things we want to do while we can. For me, I want to travel around for now and that journey starts with South Korea.
I don't want to be tied down to one job or one place. Instead I want to experience different things so that when I choose that one job and one place in the future I won't have regrets about it. The sky is not my limit, I want to reach higher and higher heights until there is no height left to reach. Lately, I have been thinking about my future, and how I feel a lot more internationally inclined. It would be cool to work for an international company, be a diplomat or ambassador, or an international lawyer.
I'm hoping South Korea helps me get closer to figuring out where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be in the future. For once I don't have a plan, but I know God has a plan for me and he will lead me on the right path, the only path created just for me. It is kind of nice not having a plan and just opening my mind to the infinite possibilities of life. I'm 21 years old, I don't have to have all the answers, and I don't know how to ask all the questions, and that is perfectly fine. Lol...this isn't the post I planned but yeah:)
As far as my expectations/hopes for going to South Korea. I am expecting to have fun, learn a lot, experience so many different things, eat lots of delicious food, learn Korean, and make some good friends with minimum drama. I know I will have my ups and downs but for the most part it will be ups!:) I think my biggest fear is how people (Koreans) will react to me. I am not looking forward to being stared at or touched or etc..but I am going to have to deal with it so it is good to know what to expect!
Overall, I know it is all going to work out in my favour because God is supporting me in this endeavor. I think I am probably going to spaz out my last week here, but I am definitely going to enjoy my friends and family before I leave. So peeps if your in Phoenix we shall hang out before I go!!!:)
“As I get older, I want to be someone who feels happiness in little things. When I was younger, I had a lot of ambitions and was able to do a lot of things so it was okay, but I don’t want to live like that forever. I think it’s good to be satisfied with the decisions I make with life at that particular time, and live simply. That’s all.”-Juni
"And that’s why we travel, or why we should. Not to forget our worries, which will follow us anywhere – across oceans, up mountains, through deserts, down every crowded alleyway and boulevard of the city – but simply to be somewhere else. To exist, as always; but to exist in different surroundings. What happens after that, we can never really predict.... -Unknown-
"There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person." Anais Nin
"We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls." -Anais Nin
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