Long time no write!

I don't know what it is about this year but I don't have the urge to write about what happens in my life this time around. I've been writing in my journal but not on here. I just feel like there isn't anything to say that I haven't said, and more than that if I don't have anything good to say I shouldn't bother writing it down. I don't know what my deal is but this year is so different and yet the same. It's not like I haven't been doing stuff because I have. I just don't feel the need to write about it like I did last year. Maybe this is second year syndrome!?

It's been almost two months since my last entry. How has my life been? My weeks have become pretty routine. During the week I usually just go home after school, make dinner, watch tv, and do some personal writing and reading. I'm too tired to go anywhere else. Weekends are outings with friends, and then church on Sunday. God, even writing that sounds boring. I mean I am in Korea for this last year and my life has become so routine. Hahaha...I don't know what to say.

Hello lovely readers. Sorry for being so M.I.A with this blog. As the title says I've been trying to figure stuff out about my life and things of that sort. I guess I've just been getting lost and found in the maze of thoughts take make up my mind. I'm still figuring things out but I wanted to update you all.

I'm pretty much over the homesickness that plagued me the first few months and now I've starting worrying about the future. I know what I want to do once I leave Seoul but the how isn't as clear. There are so many roads I can go on and all those choices make it hard to just choose one path to travel down. I'm not sure if I want to go back to AZ. That is probably the biggest future question I'm dealing with. I don't want to go back in any part of my life I just want to go forward.

This year has been a bit more emotional for me in my life and in school. Lots of change this year. As far as school goes I love my 5th graders and am having a hard time liking my 6th graders. They are just so freaking rude this year and it really irks me. My co said she is numbing herself to all their shenanigans but I can't do that. It bugs me that I care so much about it, but as long as I am their teacher I'm going to do my best to teach them manners and respect in my classroom and outside of it. I'm really disappointed in them but I know they are at that age of testing boundaries and finding themselves. Even so I do not tolerate disrespect or rudeness in my class no matter where it is coming from. I keep telling them they are missing out on having more fun in class because they keep wasting time talking. *Sigh*

Some things I've done so far this year. I went to my first Korean wedding. They really are a bit cold and overly structured. After we left the wedding we went to Hangang Park, Jacoby's Burger, and Itaewon. Lots of laughter and much needed conversations. I went to the zoo at Seoul Grand Park. Zoos always make me happy and sad. I wish all the animals were free. I went on a road trip with some friends to Damyang to see the bamboo forest and Boseong to see the green tea fields. We ended up hanging out with Brian from Kiss My Kimchi. He's a friend of a friend. Hmm...what else? I've been doing a lot of writing and drawing lately. I'm trying to learn the guitar left handed on my own. So we shall see how that turns out. Besides those things it's just the same old same old. Me figuring stuff out:)

My brother and sister will be coming in about 2 months and I am really looking forward to having them here. We've never had a family vacation and this will be the closest thing. I want them to have an amazing time here so if you are in Korea/Seoul and have any suggestions of places to go or things to see feel free to let me know:)! Some friends and I are planning to go to Cebu City and surrounding Islands for Chuseok so if you've been there send me some suggestions too.

I've been out of the Seoul loop of blogs too. I need to get back into my love of all things Korean and get back on my feet. I hope life has been treating all of you well and if you are also figuring stuff out I hope you find your answers soon!

Be blessed and not stressed,
~Lola O.~

Hello!!! I hope life is treating you well and that today has been an awesome day for you! Happy White Day!

For me, these days I find myself saying and thinking, "so far, so good..." about work, life, me, and just in general everything. That high I've been on for my life has settled into this pleasant hum inside of me that dances around as I go throughout my days. It makes me smile. It makes me happy. I hope it never leaves, and if it does I hope it comes back soon:)!

So what's new? I'm starting my second week of teaching for the new semester and it's been challenging but good. I've got two new co-teachers and they are both lovely ladies, but teaching is definitely different this time around. I like it for the most part. With my 5th graders I pretty much do most of the teaching aside from games, and with my 6th graders it is equally split. I like having more responsiblity (so far) because it keeps me busy and I don't feel like I'm wasting time sitting around. I like having that authority to decide what is going to be done in each lesson, and doing the planning for it. It makes me feel like a "real" teacher.

My students are pretty cute, especially my 5th graders. I only taught one fourth grade class last semester so this year I only know a few fifth graders, but they all seem to know me and have a lot of enthusiasm during class. Which I love. I love that they participate, laugh, and get excited in my class. It makes it a lot more fun for me and in the end for them. Now, my 6th graders who used to be my awesome 5th graders are completely different. What happened to their enthusiasm? In just a few short weeks puberty got to them and now they are sporting attitudes, and they don't want to participate or answer questions anymore!!! What happened? I wish I knew. I hope they start loosening up and reverting to their adorableness of last year.

So far, so good on the school front. I enjoy teaching. I really do. I love making English fun for them, and being silly and dorky if it means they laugh and find English interesting. My kids make or break my day. Today I thought to myself, "why not become a real teacher then?" I love teaching, but it's not what I want to do with the rest of my life. It's not where my passion, heart, or calling is. At least not in the logical sense. I want to teach kids, but not in a classroom. I want to teach them as a counselor at school, and as a mentor/role-model in my personal life. For me I want to lead by example which means to teach by example. To be a walking textbook that guides kids to find their way and direction. To be the tool that creates a bridge between their dreams and reality. Something like that. If I were to be a teacher I would be an English teacher back home in high school. Yes, I have thought about it:)! But, for me I want to be a guidance counselor, so a year from now the road I'm on will diverge with that one and I will go from there. I'm so excited to travel down that road. The road I never expected for my life, but the one that feels perfectly made for me.

Hmmm...besides work, and figuring out where I'm going I've just been spending time on The Lighthouse, with friends, and relaxing. I've been trying to exercise more, and eat healthier this second year. So I've been walking home from school, cooking more, and eating my veggies. I've got a huge sweet tooth so it's been hard but it feels good. I feel good. I love walking, and it's definitely been helping me unwind and go home with a clear mind. It also gives me a chance to see what's around me and breathe it all in. It's funny in a not funny way the things you notice once you take the time to. The way I breathe easier, the wind blowing against my skin, the cars chugging along, the various stores with people shopping; all glimpses of our world, and with slivers of beauty in them. As long as the weather isn't too cold I'm going to do as much walking as I can because it really does make a difference.

I think this year is going to be a quieter one. Last year I wanted to experiment and try new things. I still do, but in a more subtle way. I'm not in such a rush to do so much. I feel more like I need to appreciate each moment, each experience as it without trying to think about what comes next or how can I do more. I just want to breathe it all in as it is and then breathe it out as it is. Nothing less and nothing more.

I've been back for a little over a month and it still feels like I'm settling back in. I don't know what this year is going to be like, mainly because I cannot see the picture:) but I do know it's going to be whatever I make it or choose for it to be. I am the architect of my time here. So how do I design my time? Do I fill it with trips? People?Worrying? Saving? New experiences? Shopping? So far everything is still blank and suspended in thought. Soon enough though I'll start to create my foundation for this year and go from there.

So pretty much life is, "so far, so good."

Be blessed,
~Lola O.~



Don't waste your time waiting for someone to tell you when
Begin again
'Cause walking outdoors only works if you show them
Begin again
And quit looking backwards and know where you have been
Begin again
You're no calendar
You're no concrete plan
Begin again
Don't waste your time
'Cause no one's gonna tell you when
Wake up

Hello lovely readers:).

I hope your Monday morning (Sunday night) is humming along nicely. Today is my first day back to the land of children, and I have no classes. I woke up this morning with 15 minutes to get ready for school, I was the last person to enter the building. It was weird because I didn't see any kids as I walked to school and it was such an eerie feeling. I guess they all came early since it's the first day of school. I'm really happy that I have no classes because I am super tired from the last three weeks. I will upload pictures and stories of my travels when I get back into the groove of things. Hong Kong and Jeju were wonderful; the people were warm, the weather was hot, I lost/got my camera stolen in Jeju, went horse-back riding for the 1st time, did some shopping, and overall just enjoyed myself. So my first solo adventure was a success thanks to the people and experiences that made my three weeks special.

I got back on Thursday afternoon, and holed myself up in my apartment watching tv shows and movies, reading articles and stories, and just being a lazy person trying to enjoy my last few moments of bliss before school begins. Seriously, it is hard to come back after a vacation filled with no schedule, alarms, or have to do's. I'm looking forward to my birthday and Tokyo for Chuseok, so that is keeping me from getting antsy being back. Saturday I emerged from my apartment and went to Itaewon with some friends. We went to Budha's Belly, it was my first time and I will be going back. Very delicious food and the atmosphere is good. We had some drinks at Bricks (also nice), and ended the night/early morning at Luv. Itaewon has been growing on me lately, and Saturday was a great night out.

Sunday, I went to the Incheon Wave Concert, it was interesting. I didn't like most of the acts, since I was only really there for Taeyang and Se7en, but 2PM and BOA were also good. Honestly, I felt kind of old with all the teenie boppers around me. On a hilarious note, once KARA performed a lot of boys got up and left. I had asked some of the guys next to me who they liked and they said KARA, those girls didn't perform till near the end but they stayed like troopers looking so bored until KARA came on. They pulled out their binoculars and their faces lit up, and all I thought was that will be me when Taeyang comes on stage. Overall it was a good time, I liked that everyone behaved themselves, except for the girls drinking below us who seemed to only be in highschool. I went to bed around 1 AM and barely woke up for school.

It's nice to be back, okay its not really nice to be back, I would love to do nothing but whatever I want everyday of my life. Haha, but this girl has to work, and this job isn't so bad. I'll be teaching 4th grade this semester, so I told them no more 1st graders. Everyone4 says they love 4th grade, so I'm hoping they will be a good buch of kids. My VP came to visit me to tell me he's sorry I didn't get to see my family since I've been here, so I told him about the awesomeness of Skype, and then he thanked me for summer camp. It was nice, but whenever I get an unexpected visit from the P/VP I freak out inside a little wondering what's up. I have not missed the hilly walk to school, or the lack of A/C, or the mutant bees/wasps. I hope this semester goes well. My co-teacher wrote me a letter about giving me more responsibilities in terms of preparing for lessons, tests, and open-class so yay to more work, not really, but I've got to pull my own weight. I'm crossing my fingers the kids haven't turned into monsters in the last month, and I am looking forward to seeing my 5th graders since they are my favorites.

I think this time of the year is exciting and the months fly by with holidays, birthdays, and fall weather. I have a niece on the way in the next few days, and I cannot wait to see her and my other niece when I get back. So many babies to see, and there will be at least one wedding when I get back home. I haven't decided yet whether I will stay for another year. I want to stay, but my family (mostly my mom) factors into my decision. I miss them a lot, but I know being here is a good place for me right now. I'm not ready to go back to school, or get a "real" job, or give up traveling. I'm leaving those thoughts in the back of my head and will pcik through them when I have to.

Have a great week, and welcome back my fellow teachers. I hope you all had a lovely vacation.

Be Blessed,
Lola O.

Some days time seems to be endless and other days it goes by so fast. I have made it through the last two months and hopefully in 4 months I will finally get to leave for Seoul. I have a check up next week with the GI doctors so I am crossing my fingers they give me the thumps up that all is well in my body and I can get cleared to work in Seoul  and move forward with my application. Plus, no more meds!!

I have started to application process again, but thankfully I don't have to do interviews again. I did the background check again, and need a letter of clearance  from my doctor saying I can work full-time and blah blah blah. I've been feeling a lot better for the most part. I get bouts of tiredness but other than that my energy level is rising now that I am no longer internally bleeding or anemic:). Life really is unpredictable...all the more reason to take a few risks and see what happens. I am itching to go to Seoul and just be there, living life, and having new experiences.

So it makes it that much harder being here in the States, especially since I haven't found a job for the next 4 months. I have a college degree and yet I cannot find a job. Not to mention I am kind of picky about the kind of job I would do. I hope I will find something to do to keep me busy. As much as I love catching up on my shows and discovering new ones there is only so much of that a person can take. Being at home "resting" is not all that it's cracked up to be after  few weeks.

I think I am more cautious now about getting excited about Seoul. Just because I don't want to be blindsided again if something God forbid does happen. I need to get back in the habit of practicing my Korean, learning more about South Korea, Seoul, and just getting back into the going to Korea groove. It kind of sucks having to do some of the paperwork over again. All those little fees add up and makes me wince.

4 months to go and things should be more interesting with Thanksgiving, my best friend's wedding (the only good thing about this whole situation is I get to share here special day with her), Christmas, and just spending more time with good friends and family.

Keep me in your prayers,
Lola O.

Currenty Loving: Snow Patrol's "Set The Fire To The Third Bar"
CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS!!!!