Lola O.
10/11/10-10/15/10

Happy Friday everyone. I hope your Friday has been all smiles and laughter. The weather is fantastic today, even with the chill. I'm dreading not wearing socks today because my feet are really cold right now while the rest of me is warm. I think I'm catching a cold again, but I'm going to try and nip it in the bud before it gets any worse. I'm noticing a lot more coughing and sneezing this week which means even more hand sanitizer for me.

My 5th graders were extremely rowdy today, which made me go into strict mode for the Super Mario game they played. I want them to have fun, but I also want them to respect me, and respect their fellow classmates when a team is answering a question. That kind of rudeness is just unacceptable. I give them a warning but once it gets out of hand then minus points come out, and they hate that so they stop talking. So competitive.

I love Friday, only four classes that are all finished by lunch, and then I can rest for the rest of the day. My week is really busy this semester since I'm teaching 4th grade now. Even though I'm teaching the same hours, it feels like a lot more work this semester. I'm staying at school till around 8PM today so I can watch my students in the school art festival. It's the first time I get to see them do something outside of the classroom so I'm happy to stay and be cheering them on from the audience. There's going to be lots of singing, dancing, and artwork so plenty of cuteness to awww at. I went to the gym yesterday to look at the artwork of students and their parents and wow the kids are talented and so are their parents. It was nice to catch a glimpse of their artsy side.

The coolest art piece was "The Shell House" by a parent. It must have taken a really long time because they only used really tiny shells and the detail of the house is amazing. Hopefully I can snap a photo of it tonight. After that, I'm off to a birthday party in Hongdae, but I'm planning to make it an early night/morning because I am not feeling very well and I'd like to accomplish something tomorrow besides sleeping. The days go by so fast these days, and I'm glad when I'm at work but when I'm out I wish time would slow down and let me do as I please a little longer. Free time is a luxury I'd like to possess more often.

My friend and I are doing the 30 Days of Truth together, and she reminded me of the importance of finding excitement and joy in the little, simple things we take for granted. Like that perfect cup of coffee, or the great weather, getting to work a few minutes early, getting a row of green lights, just little everyday things we find insignificant or expected. I'd like to do that more, appreciate the little simple things that life gives us. Those everyday mini gifts of joy.

Lately I've been sketching/doodling again. It started off with a little whiteboard drawing for my students, and I realized how much fun it was to draw. When I was younger, before I got into writing all I did was doodle. I would take the comics out of the newspaper and try to replicate it in my sketchbook. I loved doing that, I loved drawing whatever came to mind. Ever since then I've been itching to get a sketchbook and see what I come it. I don't plan to show them to anyone. No, it's just my personal moment of joy. It took a bit to finally go and get the sketchbook because I was thinking well what's the point of doing it when it won't be great? Why even bother, when I'm not that good at it?

That is the kind of thinking that destroys people, and I was like wow what is up with this negativity Lola O. I don't want to not try things or do things I enjoy because I might not be great at it. It's not always supposed to be about how awesome you are at something, especially when you are just doing it for yourself. What matters is that I like it, I have fun doing it, and because I want to do it. I don't know why I feel that need to be great at everything I do, even sometimes forsaking my joy on the path to greatness, but I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be that kind of person who only does things I'm good/great at, playing it safe because I don't want to fail at something. You never know, if you don't give it a try, and even if I'm horrible at it I can learn to be better, and I can still have fun trying. So I bought the sketchbook and I'd like to open it up over the weekend and revisit my inner child.

I went out to dinner with the other three English teachers at my school on Monday. We went to Outback Steakhouse because they wanted to make sure I'd have something I'd enjoy. Very sweet of them. I liked that we all shared what we ordered, and even though I was tired it was nice to see them outside of work. It was the first time I've eaten a meal with my 3rd & 4th grade teacher. I find myself very curious about her. I'd like to have some tea and here more about her story. I'm meeting her niece for the first time on Sunday for lunch and conversation. It will be interesting for sure. I think we are the same age so it shouldn't be awkward...hopefully. My co wants her to have a foreign friend since she will be studying in the states soon. I'm up for meeting new people, you never know we might just end up being good friends.

I need to buckle down and get some important things done this weekend. I've become a lazy bum since summe vacation and it's getting out of hand. I always get into this couch potato after time off, and I just don't want to do anything, even though it needs to be done. I guess I just need some inspiration to stop being so lazy and start getting things in order. I need to go take care of this visa thing so I can have everything I need to renew. I need to send postcards home. I need to edit and post my travel photos/diaries...etc However, when I think of all the things I want/need to get done I just feel overloaded and end up waiting till the last minute. This is when I miss the days of my perfectionist overachieving younger self. It's easy to be lazy when no one is on your case about anything, even though I know it will just make me more stressed in the end because eventually laziness meets it's match in time.

This morning I put on a ring I bought from Hong Kong. It was the first time I wore it. It was a little too big, and I was worried about losing it. Everything was fine till I left the bakery and was halway up the hill to my school. I felt the lightness of my index finger and realized the ring was gone. I was so pissed at myself. because I thought I'd lose it and I did. So I backtracked hoping I'd find it on the ground and trying to not get too upset if I didn't. I had put my jacket on because it was too cold so maybe it fell of them I thought to myself. I couldn't find it and I needed to get to school. As I walked back up the hill I hoped that I'd find it in my bag once I got to my desk. I'd looked in there already and hadn't seen it. Luck was on my side, because it ended up being in my bag. Before I found it, I thought to myself that it's not something I can't live without so even if I don't find it I won't crumble into pieces. Which made me think about those situations we get into that feel like they'll eat us up but in reality they are nothing worth shedding tears over. I'm glad I found my ring, but if I hadn't it wouldn't have been the end my world.

On a funny note, before the ring incident I was on the bus enjoying my ride to school. We stopped at a red light and this army guy was talking loudly, and I and the other passengers were staring/glaring at them in a silent threat if he doesn't shut up. I realized how Korean I was being. I mean I talk on the bus, but here I was getting all pissed that he was ruining my morning silence with his loud voice. He kept on talking as I got off the bus, and it just made me realize how living her rubs off on me. I even went so far as to think that they shouldn't talk on the bus in the morning, but afternoon or evening is fine. Oh Korea, what are you doing to me?

So I was watching OTH (don't judge me) and my other favorite charcter talked about fortitude, "strength of mind that enables one to endure adversity with courage" and ever since then that word has been wrapping itself around my thoughts all week which led me to a few of my favorite quotes...

To dream anything that you want to dream. That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed. - Bernard Edmonds

There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn’t thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on.
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. - Nelson Mandela

Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.-Belva Davis

These days I'm working on having fortitude, especially when it comes to the dreams I have...

Alrighty, enough of my rambling, enjoy the song below and have a fantastic rest of your day and weekend!!!

 
2 Responses
  1. Drawing is a great way to detach from reality and get sucked into something else. There is a figure drawing class on Saturdays that looks good if you want to join.


  2. Lola O. Says:

    Yes, as I kid I went into my own world when I drew. Where is the class? I'm more of a closet artist when it comes to drawing. I've never tried doing figures before though...